如何认识你自己：英语精读讲义

Many of us are wondering the Earth, accomplished in many ways,

我们中许多人在这世上徘徊，在很多方面取得了成就，

capable of fulfillment at many points,

在许多时候能感受到满足，

but with a fundamental wound that stops us from becoming who we truly might be. 語法

但却带着一种根本的创伤，阻碍了我们成为真正的自己。

We don't quite know who we are. 用詞

我们并不太清楚自己是谁。

It isn't, of course, that we can't remember the basics of our biographies. 語法

当然，这并不是说我们记不住自己的基本履历。

We're unsure around two things in particular.

我们特别在两件事上感到不确定。

Firstly, we don't have a stable sense of what we're worth. 講解

首先，我们对自身价值没有稳定的认知。

And secondly, we don't have a secure hold on our own values or judgments. 習語

其次，我们无法牢牢把握自己的价值观或判断。

Without knowing who we are,

如果不知道自己是谁，

we tend to have particular trouble coping with either denigration or adulation. 講解

我们往往会特别难以应对贬低或奉承。

If other people decide that we are worthless or bad,

如果别人认定我们毫无价值或糟糕透顶，

there will be nothing inside us to prevent us from swallowing their verdicts in their entirety, 習語

我们的内心将毫无防线，只能把他们的论断全盘吞下，

however wrong-headed, extreme, or unkind these might be. 語法

无论这些论断有多么错误、极端或刻薄。

We'll be helpless before the court of public opinion. 習語

在舆论的法庭面前，我们会显得孤立无援。

We'll always be asking other people what we deserve before seeking inside for an answer.

我们总是先问别人自己配得上什么，而不是向内寻找答案。

lacking an independent verdict,

缺乏独立的判断，

we also stand to be unnaturally hungry for external praise. 講解

我们也会对外界的赞美产生异常的渴望。

The clapping of an audience will matter to us far more than would ever be wise. 語法

观众的掌声对我们来说，会比理智所允许的程度重要得多。

We'll be prey to rushing towards whatever idea or activity the crowd happens to love. 習語

我们会沦为猎物，盲目追逐大众碰巧喜欢的任何想法或活动。

We'll laugh at jokes that aren't funny,

我们会对着不好笑的笑话发笑，

uncritically accept undeserving concepts that are in vogue, 用詞

不加批判地接受那些不值得却正在流行的概念，

and neglect our truer talents for easy popular wins.

并为了轻松迎合大众而忽视了自己真正的才华。

We'll trail public opinion slavishly,

我们会像奴隶一样尾随公众意见，

constantly checking the world's whims

不断地察言观色迎合世间的突发奇想，

rather than consulting an inner barometer 習語

而不是去查阅内心的晴雨表，

in order to know what we should want,

从而知道我们应该想要什么、

feel, and value.

感受什么以及看重什么。

We need to be kind on ourselves.

我们需要对自己宽容一些。

No one is born with an independent ability to know who they are.

没人天生就具备独立认识自我的能力。

We learn to have an identity because,

我们之所以学会拥有自我认同，是因为，

if we're blessed, in our early years,

如果我们足够幸运，在早年时期，

someone else takes the trouble to study us with immense fairness, 短語搭配

曾有另一个人费尽心思、无比公正地研究我们，

attention, and kindness,

倾注关注与善意，

and then plays us back to us in a way that makes sense 習語

然后以一种合理的方式向我们反馈，

and that we can later emulate.

让我们后来可以去模仿。

They give us the beginning of a true portrait of our identity, 習語

他们为我们提供了身份认同的最初画像，

which we can then take on and enrich over the years 短語動詞

我们随后便可在此基础上接受它，在岁月中充实它，

and use as a defense 短語搭配

并将其作为一种防御，

against the distorting verdicts from hurried or ill-intentioned others.

抵御那些来自匆忙或恶意之人的扭曲论断。

Knowing who one is is really the legacy of having been known properly 語法

了解自己是谁，本质上是最初被他人

by somebody else at the start.

正确认知所留下的馈赠。

This early identity building tends to unfold 短語搭配

这种早期的身份塑造通常会

with apparently innocuous but lifesaving small steps.

通过看似无关紧要但却至关救命的微小步骤展开。

"Oh, that must really have hurt," 語法

“哦，那一定很疼，”

a parent might say in response to an upset,

面对孩子的不安，父母可能会这样回应，

thereby validating an infant's own feelings. 語法

从而认可了婴儿自己的感受。

Or, "It's okay not to feel happy on your birthday," 語氣意圖

或者，“在生日这天不开心也没关系，”

the parent might say at another point,

父母在另一个时刻可能会这样说，

delicately upholding an infant's less typical response to certain events.

细心地维护了婴儿对某些事件不太典型的反应。

Ideally, the child isn't just known, 語法

理想情况下，孩子不仅被了解，

he or she is also interpreted as likable.

他或她还会被解读为讨人喜欢的。

A good parent offers generous interpretations.

优秀的父母会提供宽容的解读。

They're on the side of the child 習語

他们站在孩子这边，

and are always ready to put the best possible gloss on moments of ill temper or a failure, 習語

并随时准备好对那些脾气暴躁或失败的时刻做最好的美化，

which forms the basis 語法

从而奠定基础，

upon which resilient self-esteem can then later emerge.

让充满韧性的自尊在日后得以萌发。

Now, that's the ideal, 表達脈絡

当然，那是理想情况，

but it can, of course, go very wrong and often does.

但事情往往也会大错特错，并且常常如此。

A parent may offer mirroring that is out of sync with the reality of the child. 短語搭配

父母提供的镜像反馈，可能与孩子的现实脱节。

"Look, who's such a happy little boy or girl?"

“看，这是谁家快乐的小男孩或小女孩？”

a parent might insist when actually the opposite is clearly the case, 短語搭配

当事实截然相反时，父母可能会这样坚持，

thereby badly scrambling the child's ability to connect with their own emotions. 用詞

从而严重扰乱了孩子与自己情绪建立联系的能力。

Or the parent might only lend the child a very harsh, 用詞

父母也可能只借给孩子一种非常严苛、

punitive way of interpreting itself,

惩罚性的方式来解读自己，

repeatedly suggesting that the child is ill-intentioned or no good.

反复暗示孩子居心不良或一无是处。

Or the parent may simply not show very much interest in the child,

或者，父母可能只是对孩子没表现出太大兴趣，

focusing themselves elsewhere,

把注意力集中在别处，

so that the child grows up with a feeling that not only is it not worth cherishing, 語法

导致孩子长大后不仅觉得自己不值得被珍惜，

but also because it hasn't been adequately seen and mirrored,

还会因为没有被充分看到和镜像反馈，

that it doesn't even quite exist.

而觉得自己甚至不曾真正存在。

A feeling of unreality is the direct consequence of emotional neglect. 短語搭配

不真实感正是情感忽视的直接后果。

Realizing that we lack a stable identity is a sobering realization,

意识到自己缺乏稳定的自我认同是一个令人清醒的认知，

but we can, with a fair wind, 習語

但我们只要借着好风，

start to correct the problem at any point.

就可以随时开始纠正这个问题。

We need to seek out the help of a wise and kindly other person, 短語動詞

我们需要寻求一位睿智而友善的他人的帮助，

perhaps a good psychotherapist,

也许是一位优秀的心理治疗师，

someone who can study us closely,

一个能密切研究我们、

mirror us properly, 用詞

恰当镜像反馈我们，

and then validate what they see.

然后对他们所见予以认可的人。

Through their eyes, 習語

透过他们的眼睛，

we can learn to study,

我们能够学会探究，

perhaps for the first time,

也许是人生中的第一次，

how we really feel

去探究自己的真实感受，

and take seriously what we actually want. 短語搭配

并且认真对待自己真正的渴望。

We can,

我们可以，

by being witnessed generously, 語法

通过被宽容地见证，

more often learn to take our own sides 習語

更多地学会站在自己这一边，

and feel increasingly solid inside,

感到内心越来越充实，

trusting ourselves more than we trust the crowd, 語法

相信自己胜过相信大众，

feeling that we might be able to say no, 語氣意圖

觉得我们有能力说不，

not always swaying in the wind 習語

不再总是随风摇摆，

and feeling that we are in possession 短語搭配

并且感觉到我们掌握着

of some of the ultimate important truths about us.

一些关于自己最终要的重要真相。

Having come to know ourselves like this, 語法

当我们像这样了解自己之后，

we will be a little less hungry for praise, 表達脈絡

我们对赞美的渴望就会减少一些，

a little less worried by opposition,

对反对意见的担忧就会减轻一些，

and a lot more original in our thinking.

我们的思想也会变得更具独创性。

We will have learned the vital art

我们将学会这项至关重要的艺术：

of both knowing and befriending who we really are. 語法

既了解真实的自己，又与真实的自己做朋友。

Our Know Yourself Cards

我们的“认识自己卡片”

can help us to better understand the deepest,

可以帮助我们更好地了解我们最深层、

most elusive aspects of ourselves.

最难以捉摸的面向。

Follow the link now to learn more.

点击链接，了解更多。