如何真诚地赞美别人而不显得猥琐 —— 英语迷你小课堂：英语精读讲义

Oh, wow.

哦，哇。

Your socks always match your shoes so perfectly. 短語搭配

你的袜子总是和你的鞋子搭配得如此完美。

Oh, thank you very much.

喔，非常感谢。

Thank you for noticing. 語氣意圖

谢谢你的留意。

Thank you.

谢谢。

No, really.

不，说真的。

They just match them perfectly.

它们简直是绝配。

Do you do it on purpose? 短語搭配

你是故意这么搭的吗？

Is it by accident?

还是纯属巧合？

Uh

呃

Complimenting people is always nice.

赞美别人总归是件好事。

They're meant to make someone feel good, right? 語法

它的本意是让人心情愉悦，对吧？

But if delivered in the wrong way, 語法

但如果表达方式不对，

they can make someone feel really awkward. 語法

就可能会让人感到非常尴尬。

In today's mini English lesson,

在今天的迷你英语课上，

I'm going to share with you two things to avoid 表達脈絡

我将与大家分享需要避免的两件事

and two things to do when you want to give someone a compliment

以及想要赞美别人时应该做的两件事，

without making them feel awkward.

从而避免让他们感到尴尬。

Number one:

第一：

Avoid giving overly specific compliments. 短語搭配

避免给出过于具体的赞美。

When you notice someone's socks every day and comment on them, 短語搭配

当你每天都注意到别人的袜子并加以评论时，

that could feel a bit creepy. 用詞

可能会让人觉得有点变态。

I really like how your left eyebrow arch is slightly higher than your right one. 語法

我非常喜欢你左边眉毛的弧度比右边稍微高一点点。

Beautiful.

太美了。

You don't want to get too detailed. 短語搭配

赞美不必过于细致。

While it's really nice to have someone notice something special about you,

虽然有人注意到你的特别之处确实很棒，

when you're being very specific and detailed,

但当你变得非常具体和细致时，

it might feel a bit stalkerish. 用詞

可能会让人觉得你像个跟踪狂。

Number two:

第二：

Do be genuine. 語法

务必真诚。

Genuine compliments come from the heart. 習語

真诚的赞美发自内心。

They express something you truly appreciate about someone. 短語搭配

它们表达了你对别人由衷的欣赏。

But to know what a genuine compliment is, 語法

但要了解什么是真诚的赞美，

you need to know what disingenuous compliments could be.

你需要知道什么样的赞美会显得虚伪。

We all know the feeling of giving a compliment

我们都知道那种感觉：

just for the sake of giving a compliment. 短語搭配

为了赞美而赞美。

You've done it,

你这样做过，

I've done it,

我这样做过，

we've all done it.

我们都这样做过。

This is when you're complimenting someone 表達脈絡

也就是当你在赞美别人时，

just because it feels like it's the right thing to do.

仅仅是因为觉得这是应该做的事。

Maybe you're at a networking event and you just want to make some contacts 短語搭配

也许你正在参加一个社交活动，只是想结交一些人脉，

or you just want to ask a favor. 短語搭配

或者只是想请人帮忙。

It can look like over the top flattery, 習語

这看起来就像是夸张的奉承，

just saying something nice for the sake of it. 短語搭配

仅仅为了说好听话而说。

So, to be genuine,

所以，想要变得真诚，

stop and think about what you truly appreciate about someone

停下来想一想你真正欣赏对方什么，

and just share it with them without expecting anything in return. 短語搭配

然后直接告诉他们，不求任何回报。

Number three:

第三：

Avoid backhanded compliments. 習語

避免暗贬式的赞美（反讽赞美）。

You're pretty smart for someone your age. 語氣意圖

在你这个年纪，你算挺聪明的了。

You show great leadership for a woman.

作为一名女性，你展现了出色的领导力。

These are backhanded compliments because they come with another clause. 用詞

这些都属于暗贬式的赞美，因为它们带有附加条件。

It's not open and absolute. 用詞

它们并不坦诚，也不是纯粹的。

In the first example,

在第一个例子中，

what you're really saying is that 表達脈絡

你真正在说的是，

you don't believe that everyone in their age group is smart.

你不相信同龄人里每个人都很聪明。

So, you're really saying they're smart

所以，你其实是在说，

compared to other people in their age 語氣意圖

只是和他们同龄的其他人相比起来聪明，

and not smart, period.

而不是真正意义上的聪明。

It's a sentence that mixes praise and criticism. 短語搭配

这是一个毁誉参半的句子。

Why is it called backhanded?

为什么它叫“backhanded”（反手）呢？

Well, that is coming from tennis. 文化背景

其实，这源于网球。

When you're using a backhand stroke,

当你使用反手击球时，

it's considered a lot less direct than

大家认为它远不如

when you're using a forehand stroke.

正手击球那样直接。

Metaphorically, when you're saying backhanded compliments,

打个比方，当你说出暗贬式的赞美时，

you're saying that this compliment is indirect or sly. 用詞

你的赞美是间接的、带有心机的。

The truth is, they often leave people feeling insulted, 短語搭配

事实上，它们常常让人感到被侮辱、

uncomfortable, even angry.

不舒服，甚至生气。

Number four:

第四：

Highlight someone's qualities that are within their control. 短語搭配

强调别人能够掌控的特质。

You can do that by giving compliments about somebody's choices, 表達脈絡

你可以通过赞美某人的选择、

efforts, and actions because that's within their control.

努力和行动来做到这一点，因为这些是他们可以控制的。

Use action verbs to highlight their efforts

使用动作动词来强调他们的努力，

rather than just commenting on their physical appearance. 語法

而不只是对他们的外表进行评论。

Instead of saying your hair is so long and curly,

不要只说你的头发又长又卷，

which focuses only on aesthetics, 用詞

因为这只关注了美学，

you can say,

你可以说，

"I love what you've done with your hair. 語法

"我好喜欢你做的这个发型。

It looks so chic and it matches your outfit perfectly." 用詞

看起来真别致，而且和你的衣服搭配得天衣无缝。"

Did you see the nuance? 表達脈絡

你看出其中的微妙差别了吗？

In the second sentence,

在第二句话中，

you focus on the effort that they made

你关注的是对方所付出的努力，

and the result is they look so chic. 表達脈絡

而结果是他们看起来非常时尚别致。

So, let's review.

那么，让我们复习一下。

First, avoid being too detailed,

首先，避免过于关注细节，

especially when you're commenting on physical appearance

尤其是当你评论别人的外表时，

because that might make someone feel really awkward.

因为这可能会让人感到非常尴尬。

Two: Be genuine and honest.

第二：真诚诚实。

It's always appreciated.

这一点永远让人受用。

Three: Avoid giving backhanded compliments.

第三：避免暗贬式的赞美。

They can really insult someone.

它们真的会侮辱人。

And four:

以及第四：

Focus on highlighting someone's effort,

侧重于强调对方的努力，

not just their physical appearance.

而不只是外表。

So, dear viewer,

那么，亲爱的观众朋友，

every new word you learn, 表達脈絡

你学的每一个新单词，

every sentence you build is a victory.

构造的每一个句子，都是一次胜利。

We see all the hard work that you put

我们看到了你所有的努力，

and all the time that you spend watching mini English lessons

看到了你花在观看迷你英语课上的所有时间，

and we really appreciate it. 語氣意圖

我们真的非常感激。

You're doing amazing. 語氣意圖

你做得非常棒。