你能成为英国君主吗？：英语精读讲义

How to become the British monarch?

如何成为英国君主？

Historically, the crown sat upon your head mostly because you had the biggest army.

在历史上，王冠之所以能戴在你的头上，主要是因为你的军队最强大。

When you died,

当你死后，

your eldest son kept control over that army

你的长子接管了这支军队，

and so the crown relocated to his head.

于是王冠便转移到了他的头上。

Though, of course,

当然，

someone with a bigger army could change the political landscape quite abruptly. 習語

如果有人拥有更强大的军队，也能极其突然地改变政治版图。

As time marched on and the world grew less violent, 習語

随着时间推移，世界变得不那么暴力，

eventually in 1701,

最终在1701年，

Parliament established a set of rules

议会制定了一套规则，

to transfer the crown from one head to another,

用来将王冠从一个人头上转移到另一个人头上，

hopefully with less turmoil than before.

希望能借此减少以往的动荡。

So, here's how the 1701 rules work. 表達脈絡

那么，1701年的规则是这样运作的。

First, don't be Catholic.

第一，不要是天主教徒。

The British monarch is also the head of the Church of England 文化背景

英国君主也是英国国教的领袖，

to which the monarch must convert 語法

君主必须皈依该教，

if not already a member. 語法

如果他还不是其中一员的话。

Except that if you're Catholic,

只不过如果你是天主教徒，

no crown for you. 語氣意圖

你就无缘王位了。

The history of the royal family

关于王室的历史，

and how this rule came to be

以及这条规则是如何产生的，

is a story for another time, 短語搭配

那是另一个故事了，

but suffice it to say that bigger army diplomacy was involved. 短語搭配

但可以说，这牵涉到了“最强军队外交”。

And, by the way, no,

顺便一提，不行，

you can't cleverly get around this rule 短語動詞

你无法聪明地绕过这条规则，

by converting from Catholicism to something else

也就是先从天主教皈依到别的宗教，

and then to Church of England.

再皈依到英国国教。

In the eyes of the crown, 習語

在王室看来，

Catholicism is transitive. 用詞

天主教信仰是具有传递性的。

Second, don't be a bastard. 用詞

第二，不能是私生子。

Sometimes it's good to be the king,

有时候当国王固然好，

but it's never good to be the illegitimate children of the king,

但当国王的私生子绝对没好事，

who are out of line for the crown 短語搭配

他们被排除在王位继承顺序之外，

from literally the moment of their conception.

确切地说，从他们受孕的那一刻起就是如此。

If you're related to the monarch

如果你是君主的亲属，

but are either a Catholic or a bastard or both,

但你要么是天主教徒，要么是私生子，或者两者皆是，

the crown has the delightful term naturally dead 用詞

王室有一个非常“美妙”的词——“自然死亡”，

to refer to you and your lack of right to succession.

来形容你以及你丧失了继承权。

Third, spouses don't count. 用詞

第三，配偶不算。

While people often think of kings and queens as a pair, 語法

虽然人们通常把国王和王后看作一对，

that's not the way it works here.

但在这里不是这么回事。

Spouses of monarchs are known as royal consorts. 文化背景

君主的配偶被称为王室配偶（王夫或王后）。

They may be called prince or queen,

他们可以被称为亲王或王后，

but as far as the crown is concerned, 短語搭配

但就王位而言，

they're not in line for the throne. 短語搭配

他们不在继承顺序中。

They're just the matching 23 chromosomes

他们只不过是为了生下真正的继承人，

needed for the creation of the real heir.

而需要的另外23条匹配的染色体。

Fourth and finally,

第四，也是最后一点，

Male Primogeniture- whatever. 文化背景

男性长子继承制——管它叫什么。

This is the algorithm of inheritance. 習語

这就是继承的算法。

When the monarch dies or abdicates, 用詞

当君主死亡或退位时，

but usually dies,

但通常是死亡，

the crown goes to the eldest son

王位传给长子，

who isn't naturally dead.

那个未被视为“自然死亡”的长子。

If there happens to be an elder daughter,

如果碰巧有个大女儿，

tough luck to her. 語氣意圖

那算她倒霉。

Baby brother gets the crown.

弟弟会得到王位。

It's simple enough,

这很简单，

but there are non-obvious cases.

但也有一些不那么明显的情况。

Take a king with two sons. 表達脈絡

比如一个国王有两个儿子。

If the eldest dies before the king does, 語法

如果长子死在国王之前，

obviously the crown goes to the youngest,

显然王位会传给较小的那个，

now oldest, brother.

即现在最年长的兄弟。

But what if the eldest son gave the king a grandson before death?

但如果长子死前给国王生了个孙子呢？

Where does the crown go then?

那王位该传给谁？

Well, the crown basically pretends

嗯，王室基本上假装

that everyone, except the naturally dead, is alive.

除了“自然死亡”的人之外，每个人都还活着。

So, upon the death of the king,

所以，在国王死后，

the crown goes to his eldest son,

王位传给他的长子，

who is now sort of the king

他现在算是国王了，

who just really happens to be dead.

只是碰巧真的死了。

So, the rule kicks in again 短語動詞

于是，规则再次生效，

and the crown goes to his son,

王位传给他的儿子，

not, as seems obvious now, his brother.

而不是现在看来理所当然的他的兄弟。

But if this 1701 rule means that eldest sons get the crown,

但是，如果这个1701年的规则意味着长子获得王位，

how did queens ever come to be?

女王是怎么出现的呢？

Basically, daughters were the last choice of the crown,

基本上，女儿是王位的最后选择，

which is why there have been so few. 語法

这就是为什么女王如此之少。

To get the crown,

要获得王位，

a daughter had to either be the only child of the monarch 語法

女儿必须是君主的独生女，

or the eldest child without competing brothers.

或者是没有竞争兄弟的最年长孩子。

So, pregnant mothers must have made any daughters

所以，怀孕的母亲肯定会让那些

with queenly aspirations quite nervous.

有女王抱负的女儿们感到相当紧张。

Now, sometimes the branch of a family tree dies out, 講解

有时候，家谱上的一个分支会绝嗣，

be it from war or plague or whatever. 語法

不管是因为战争、瘟疫还是其他什么原因。

So, the crown's contingency plan,

因此，王室的应急计划是，

if it's at a dead end, 習語

如果走到死胡同，

is to back up one level and then apply the rules forward again, 短語動詞

就退回上一级，然后再次向前应用规则，

looking for a living head to sit upon.

寻找一个活着的脑袋来戴上王冠。

If no luck, back up again and repeat

如果运气不好，再退回一级并重复，

and repeat until a living heir is found.

不断重复，直到找到一个活着的继承人。

And there will always be an heir.

而且总会有一个继承人。

The first king of England was over a thousand years ago

英格兰的第一任国王是一千多年前的事了，

and the mathematics of human reproduction,

而人类繁衍的数学规律，

backed up by DNA evidence, 短語動詞

在DNA证据的支持下，

reveals that just about every European alive

表明几乎每一个活着的欧洲人

is distantly related to him.

都与他有远亲关系。

So, the crown will eventually find a way.

所以，王冠最终总能找到归宿。

So, from the first king through the new millennium, 語法

因此，从第一位国王到新千年，

the various rules went along making monarchs,

各种规则一直在制造君主，

though with a gender biased result

尽管结果带有性别偏见，

that nobody seemed too bothered about until 語氣意圖

但似乎没有人太在意，直到

suddenly in 2013,

突然在2013年，

for no particular reason at all, 語氣意圖

完全没有特别的原因，

everyone decided that the rules needed to be updated right now.

所有人都决定现在就需要更新规则。

So, Parliament and the monarchy got together

于是，议会和王室聚在一起，

and made some changes,

做了一些改变，

most notably striking the male part of rule number four. 講解

最引人注目的是删除了第四条规则中关于男性的部分。

From 2013 on, 短語搭配

从2013年起，

the crown views all royal sons and daughters with equal favor.

王室平等对待所有王室子女。

The only thing that matters is the order of their birth. 語法

唯一重要的是他们的出生顺序。

So, prior to 2013,

所以，在2013年之前，

the boy in a set of fraternal twins in development 用詞

在发育中的一对异卵双胞胎里的男孩

could sit back and relax, 短語搭配

可以高枕无忧，

secure that the crown would be his 用詞

确信王冠终将属于他，

no matter what happened on delivery day. 語法

无论出生那天发生什么。

But in the post-2013 gender equal world,

但在2013年之后的性别平等世界里，

it's now a race for the door to win the crown. 習語

现在这成了一场为了赢得王冠而出生的竞速赛。