我们的父母太不懂科技了 - 过去与现在 第3集：英语精读讲义

The good people at Honor reached out to sponsor a piece featuring their new Honor 6X smartphone. 短語動詞

Honor的好心人联系我，赞助了一期以他们新款Honor 6X智能手机为主题的节目。

So they send it over

所以他们把手机寄给了我，

and I'm sitting there bored at a family function

我当时正无聊地坐在一个家庭聚会上，

putting the gears to the phone's dual lens camera,

把玩着这部手机的双摄相机，

Kirin 655 octa-core CPU,

麒麟655八核处理器，

4 gigs of RAM and 3340 milliamp hour battery.

4GB内存和3340毫安时电池。

And I'm at my in-laws house, right?

我当时在我岳父母家，对吧？

And an argument breaks out at the Scrabble table. 短語動詞

拼字游戏桌上突然吵了起来。

And meanwhile,

与此同时，

I'm sitting there going,

我坐在那儿心想，

"Why don't you just Google it?" 語氣意圖

“你们为什么不直接Google一下呢？”

But it's not all bad thanks to my entire evening of eye-rolling, 表達脈絡

但这也不全是坏事，多亏了我那一整个晚上的翻白眼、

face-palming,

捂脸，

and full-body cringing,

以及全身心的尴尬，

we all get to experience this fantastic video.

我们大家才能体验到这个绝妙的视频。

Eight of the worst ways

老一辈人让我脑袋爆炸的

the older generation makes my head explode. 習語

八个最糟糕的方式。

Brought to you by the Honor 6X.

本期视频由Honor 6X赞助播出。

Number one.

第一。

My dad seems completely

我老爸似乎完全

unable to wrap his head around the fact 習語

无法理解

that making phone calls ain't what it used to be. 講解

现在的打电话早就不是以前那样了。

He still, it is 2017,

他居然，现在可是2017年了，

he still tries to crank call me. 用詞

他居然还试图给我打恶作剧电话。

Crank call me.

恶作剧电话哦。

Like I'll answer my phone and he'll start pretending to order a pizza.

比如我接起电话，他就开始假装要点个披萨。

Or I'll call him

或者我给他打电话，

and he'll answer with some goofy accent

他会用某种滑稽的口音接听，

trying to convince me that I got the wrong number. 短語搭配

试图让我相信我打错号码了。

Dude,

老兄，

I know it's you.

我知道是你啊。

I've had caller ID on my phone 語法

我从高中起

since I was in high school

手机上就有来电显示了，

and I know I didn't misdial your number.

而且我知道我没有按错你的号码。

Nobody dials numbers anymore.

现在根本没人在拨号了好吗。

Number two.

第二。

I needed to get to my grandma's new place.

我需要去我奶奶的新住处。

So I even proactively,

所以我甚至主动出击，

like I'm ready for this,

就好像我已经准备好了似的，

I proactively structure the question like so. 短語搭配

我主动把问题组织成了这样。

"Hey, can you give me your new address,

“嘿，能把你的新地址给我吗，

Gran?"

奶奶？”

And to my dismay, 短語搭配

让我崩溃的是，

she, like every other old person on the planet,

她和这个星球上其他所有老年人一样，

proceeds to launch into this elaborate play-by-play of the route. 講解

开始详细解说起路线来。

"Don't go past the giant tiger,

“别走过那只大老虎，

then uh left at the spoon-shaped rock

然后嗯在那个勺子形的石头那里左转，

and you'll see this really friendly young man watering the grass.

你会看到一个非常友好的年轻人在浇草坪。

Well well that's

哎呀呀那是

Chester, the neighbor's son-in-law.

切斯特，邻居的女婿。

And he works at the co-op and okay.

他在合作社工作，还有……”好了。

This is not a quest, Grandma.

这不是在做任务，奶奶。

I'm not retaining any of this.

我一点都没记住。

I'm not listening.

我根本没在听。

Please,

拜托，

for the love of all that is good, 習語

看在老天爷的份上，

tell me the address

告诉我地址，

so I can open my Maps app and key it in. 短語動詞

这样我就可以打开我的地图应用把它输入进去了。

Number three.

第三。

Thanks to simple interfaces

多亏了简单的界面，

like Honor's Emotion UI,

比如Honor的Emotion UI，

smartphones

智能手机

are getting easier and easier to use. 語法

变得越来越容易使用了。

But just because an older person learns to use the internet, 語法

但仅仅因为老年人学会了使用互联网，

doesn't mean they really get how to internet. 用詞

并不意味着他们真正懂得如何上网。

And we've all suffered the consequences of this one.

我们都经历过这种后果。

So here's a few etiquette tips.

所以这里有一些礼仪提示。

If I don't copy paste your status update you posted,

如果我没有复制粘贴你发布的状态更新，

it doesn't mean I'm not your true friend.

并不代表我不是你的真朋友。

That funny chain letter,

那封搞笑的连锁信，

well,

嗯，

if the memes have eBaum's World watermarks,

如果表情包上还有eBaum's World的水印，

they're probably a little dated. 用詞

它们可能有点过时了。

And auntie,

还有阿姨，

thank you so much for the urgent cyber security advisory

非常感谢你发来紧急的网络安全警告，

telling me to beware of people calling and pretending they work for Microsoft. 短語搭配

告诉我小心那些打电话假装是微软员工的人。

I know your heart's in the right place, 習語

我知道你是好心，

but

但是，

please,

拜托了，

just oh please.

真的拜托了。

Number four.

第四。

Why is it that every time I go somewhere with my dad, 語法

为什么每次我和我爸出去，

he's always trying to get me to memorize what section of the parking garage 語法

他总是想让我记住我们停在停车场的哪个区，

we're in

我们在哪，

so that we don't lose the car.

这样我们就不会把车弄丢了。

Okay,

好了，

what's the color?

什么颜色？

Orange.

橙色。

Okay,

好了，

what's the number?

几号？

Oh shoot, I forget.

哎呀，我忘了。

Let's go back.

我们回去吧。

Look,

听着，

I'm way ahead of you, Dad. 習語

我早就想到办法了，老爸。

Just take a picture

拍张照

and move on. 短語動詞

继续走就行了。

It doesn't consume film anymore 文化背景

这不再浪费胶卷了，

and we don't have to wait for it to get developed.

我们也不用等它冲洗出来。

Number five.

第五。

You convinced your mother-in-law to get a cell phone, 語法

你说服你的岳母买了一部手机，

but she refuses to get cellular data

但她拒绝使用蜂窝数据，

because it's expensive

因为那很贵，

and Lisa needs braces. 文化背景

而且丽莎需要戴牙套。

Well,

好吧，

you know what I have to say to that?

你知道我要对此说什么吗？

Data plan.

流量套餐。

It's like $10 a month.

大概一个月10美元。

Less on Ting.

在Ting上甚至更便宜。

And you know what else is expensive?

那你知道还有什么很贵吗？

Getting lost two blocks from your grandson's birthday party 語法

在离你孙子生日派对两个街区的地方迷路，

and spending 15 minutes on the phone with me trying to figure out where the heck you are, 講解

花15分钟在电话里跟我试图搞清楚你到底在哪里，

which way is west,

哪边是西，

and which auto wrecker to drive towards to get back on the right path.

还有该朝哪个汽车拆解厂开才能回到正确的路线上。

You aren't even supposed to be on the phone when you're driving. 語法

你开车的时候甚至都不应该打电话。

Number six.

第六。

My dad knows how to text me.

我爸知道怎么给我发短信。

He even sends instant messages

他甚至通过Hangouts发送即时消息

and pictures over Hangouts.

和照片。

But he doesn't seem to grasp

但他似乎无法理解

the added utility that these modern mediums have over snail mail. 習語

这些现代媒介比平信更多的附加效用。

So every three to five days,

所以每三到五天，

he sends me an epic wall of text 習語

他都会发给我一大段文字，

with where he's staying,

讲述他住在哪里，

the recent weather,

最近的天气，

best wishes for the kids,

对孩子们的祝福，

and then he signs his name at the bottom.

然后他在底部签上他的名字。

And I'm like, 表達脈絡

我的反应是，

"Pops, it's instant messaging.

“老爸，这是即时通讯。

I can reply to it right away.

我可以立刻回复它。

You can reply right away

你也可以立刻回复，

and we can have a conversation.

我们就能交谈了。

Do your relatives ever send you snail mail

你的亲戚有没有给你寄过平信，

and then text you to tell you to expect it?

然后发短信告诉你留意查收？

Why did you

你为什么要……”

Number seven.

第七。

My auntie still brings her digital point-and-shoot 用詞

我阿姨依然带着她那数码傻瓜相机，

that runs on double A batteries 短語搭配

用5号电池的那种，

to family functions

参加家庭聚会，

even though the camera on her phone

尽管她手机上的相机

is way better, 用詞

要好得多，

way easier to use,

也容易用得多，

and easy to share pictures with.

而且分享照片也很方便。

It just seems like it's hard 語法

似乎很难

for some older people to internalize

让某些老年人从心底认识到

just how many single-use devices modern phones have replaced. 語法

现代手机已经取代了多少单一用途的设备。

I mean,

我是说，

what's next?

下一步是什么？

A calculator at the restaurant

去餐厅带个计算器

to split the bill? 短語搭配

来平摊账单吗？

Damn it, Vern,

见鬼，弗恩，

there is an app for that. 文化背景

早就有这应用了。

And finally,

最后，

number eight,

第八，

right next to the landline phone at my grandparents' house,

就在我祖父母家的座机旁边，

is a wall power adapter for the cell phone

有一个手机用的墙插电源适配器，

that lives in the wall 習語

它长在墙上，

with the phone next to it

手机就放在它旁边

plugged in

插着电，

100% of the time when they're at home.

只要他们在家里，100%的时间都插着电。

Sometimes,

有时，

I even see them stand there 語法

我甚至看到他们站在那儿

while they're talking on it.

边充电边打电话。

Do you realize that modern phones like this one

你们知道吗，像这样的现代手机

can last for like two days before they die? 習語

可以在没电前撑上大概两天？

Why not just plug it in when you go to bed? 講解

为什么不睡觉的时候再充电呢？

Well,

“好吧，

that way I always know where it is. 表達脈絡

这样我随时都能知道它在哪儿。”

You don't go anywhere, Lynn.

你哪儿都不去，林恩。

Just keep it in your pocket

只要把它放在口袋里，

and that way you'll know where it is

这样你就能知道它在哪儿了，

and you'll actually be safer

而且实际上你也会更安全，

in the event of a nasty fall or a freak accident with a knitting needle or whatever. 短語搭配

万一重重摔了一跤，或者被织毛衣的针戳到出了什么意外事故之类的。

So

所以

thanks to Honor

感谢Honor

for sponsoring this list of ways that people are bound to misuse their awesome technology. 語法

赞助了这个关于人们注定会滥用出色技术的清单。

You can check out the link to where to buy the Honor 6X in the video description. 短語動詞

你们可以在视频描述中查看在哪里购买Honor 6X的链接。

And while you're down there, 表達脈絡

既然你都滑到下面了，

drop your favorite my family sucks at tech stories in the comments below 用詞

就在下方评论区留下你最喜欢的“我家人用不来科技”的故事吧，

and maybe you'll see them featured in a future episode. 語法

也许你会看到它们出现在未来的节目中。

Thank you so much for watching.

非常感谢观看。