“我爱你，但我认为我们不应该在一起”：英语精读讲义

We tend to assume that anyone who tells us that they love us, 短語搭配

我们往往会认为，任何告诉我们他爱我们，

but simultaneously insists that they don't believe we should be together, 表達脈絡

却同时坚称觉得我们不该在一起的人，

is lying.

是在撒谎。

If love is sincere,

如果爱是真诚的，

of course it won't stop at any obstacles, however large.

当然不会因为任何障碍而止步，无论障碍有多大。

You either love a person 語法

你要么爱一个人

and then will fight till the end to be with them, 習語

然后为了和对方在一起而战斗到底，

or you don't love them and will walk away. 短語動詞

要么你不爱对方并选择离开。

There isn't, there can't be any third category

不存在，也不可能有第三种情况，

that isn't just a deceit.

除非那只是个骗局。

Underneath this uncompromising stance 語法

在这种毫不妥协的立场之下，

lies an ideology of romanticism

隐藏着一种浪漫主义的意识形态，

that insists that true love has nothing to do with practicalities. 短語搭配

坚称真爱与现实毫无关系。

The romantic novelist D.H. Lawrence captured this absolutist view 短語搭配

浪漫主义小说家 D.H. 劳伦斯捕捉到了这种绝对主义的观点，

when he wrote,

他曾写道：

"A man in love will sleep for the rest of his life

“一个坠入爱河的男人会为了他爱的女人

on a park bench for a woman he loves."

在公园长椅上睡一辈子。”

And so, by extension, 表達脈絡

因此，推而广之，

if there are children from another relationship,

如果对方有之前感情生下的孩子，

if there's no money,

如果没有钱，

if one of the parties lives abroad,

如果其中一方住在国外，

if someone has a mental illness,

如果有人患有精神疾病，

if there are cultural differences,

如果存在文化差异，

if long-term goals point in contrasting directions,

如果长远目标南辕北辙，

there will always be a way for love to succeed. 語法

爱情总是会有办法取得成功。

But there is another philosophy at large, 習語

但普遍存在的还有另一种哲学，

more restrained and less esteemed,

更为克制，也不那么受人推崇，

that balances a respect for emotions 短語搭配

它在尊重情感的同时

with an equal respect for the practical dimensions of life.

同样尊重生活的实际层面。

This philosophy knows

这种哲学明白，

that however tender and sympathetic our feelings may be, 語法

无论我们的感情有多么温柔和富有同情心，

they cannot entirely mitigate or erase the impact of social ostracism, 講解

它们都无法完全减轻或消除社会排斥、

opposed friendship groups,

对立的朋友圈、

clashing values,

冲突的价值观、

ongoing distance,

持续的异地、

incongruous life stages,

不一致的人生阶段、

continuous alarm,

不断的担忧，

or park benches.

或者是睡公园长椅所带来的影响。

If we understand love 語法

如果我们把爱理解为

as ultimately focused on the care and nurture of another person,

最终聚焦于对另一个人的关怀与滋养，

should we continue to label as loving

我们是否应该继续将这样一种关系贴上爱的标签：

a relationship that necessarily mires our partner 短語搭配

这种关系必然会使我们的伴侣陷入

in a succession of avoidable miseries?

一连串本可避免的痛苦之中？

Are we so uniquely fitted to be with them 語法

我们真的就那么适合与他们在一起，

as to justify the suffering our presence entails?

以至于能证明我们的存在所带来的痛苦是合理的吗？

Might our so-called love for them 用詞

我们对他们所谓的爱，

not in the end have more to do with our satisfaction 語法

到底是为了我们自己的满足，

than their fulfillment?

还是为了他们的幸福呢？

There are, of course,

当然，有这样的人：

liars who will dress up their escapes 短語動詞

他们是骗子，会把自己的逃避行为

as acts of generosity,

伪装成慷慨之举，

but there are as many true lovers

但同样也有很多真正的爱人，

who quietly sacrifice themselves 習語

默默地牺牲了自己，

on unheralded altars of resignation.

将自己献上无人知晓的隐忍祭坛。

It's hugely honorable and very moving

拼尽全力去和某个人在一起，

to do one's utmost to be with someone, 短語搭配

是一件极度高尚且非常感人的事，

but it may be greater love still 表達脈絡

但也许还有一种更伟大的爱，

to adore a person and then,

那就是深爱着一个人，然后，

before wasting any more of their time,

在浪费他们更多的时间之前，

to leave them well alone. 習語

彻底放手，互不打扰。