金童综合症：英语精读讲义

We are used to thinking of many of the psychological problems of adulthood as stemming from a lack of adequate love in our early years. 講解

我们习惯于认为成年后的许多心理问题都源于早年缺乏足够的爱。

We grow mentally unwell,

我们在心理上变得不健康，

prey to underconfidence, 習語

沦为缺乏自信、

anxiety, paranoia,

焦虑、偏执

and shame because somewhere in the past

和羞耻感的牺牲品，因为在过去的某个时刻，

we were denied the necessary warmth,

我们未能得到必要的温暖、

care, and sympathy.

关怀与同情。

But there is another,

但还有另一个、

more curious and more subtle problem

更奇特也更微妙的问题

that may arise from childhood years.

可能在童年时期产生。

What we can term the golden child syndrome. 用詞

我们可以称之为“黄金儿童综合征”。

We may wind up mentally unwell, 短語動詞

我们在心理上可能会变得不健康，

not so much because we were ignored or maltreated, 語法

倒不是因为我们被忽视或虐待，

but because we were loved with a distinctive and troubling overintensity.

而是因为我们被一种独特且令人不安的过度强烈的爱所包围。

Because we were praised for capacities

因为我们受到了赞美，而这些赞美所针对的能力

that we did not possess and could not identify with, 短語動詞

我们并不具备也无法认同；

and because we were asked,

也因为我们被要求——

with apparent kindness, 表達脈絡

带着表面上的善意，

but underlying unwitting manipulation,

实则隐藏着无意的操纵——

to shoulder the hopes and longings of our carers 習語

去肩负照料者的希望和渴望，

rather than of our own deep selves.

而不是我们自己内心深处的期盼。

There are childhoods where,

在某些童年经历中，

upon arrival,

刚一降生，

the infant is quickly described by one or more of its parents 語法

婴儿就很快被父母中的一方或双方描述为

as profoundly exceptional.

极其非凡的人。

It is grandly declared uncommonly beautiful,

它被隆重地宣告为异常美丽、

intelligent, talented,

聪明、有天赋，

and resolutely set for a special destiny. 短語搭配

并被断言注定要拥有特殊的命运。

Not for this child the ordinary sorrows and stumblings 表達脈絡

这个孩子绝不会经历那些普通的悲伤与跌倒，

of an average life.

那些平凡生活中的常态。

While perhaps still no taller than a chair, 語法

也许身高还不及一把椅子，

the offspring is firmly described as a figure

这个孩子就被坚定地描述为一个

whose name will reverberate down the centuries. 習語

名字将流芳百世的人物。

On the surface, 表達脈絡

表面上看，

this could seem to offer a route to enormous self-confidence and security.

这似乎提供了一条通往巨大自信与安全感的途径。

But to place such expectations on someone 短語搭配

但是，把如此之高的期望寄托在一个

who still struggles with their coat buttons

还在为扣大衣扣子而挣扎的人身上，

can, paradoxically,

矛盾的是，

leave a child feeling hollow and particularly incapable. 語法

可能会让孩子感到空虚并觉得自己格外无能。

Unable to sense any resources within itself 語法

由于无法从自己身上感受到任何资源

to honor the hopes of those it loves and depends on,

来兑现那些它所爱和依赖的人的期望，

the child grows up with a latent sense 用詞

孩子在成长过程中会带着一种潜在的

of fraudulence and a consistent fear

欺诈感，并始终害怕

that it will be unmasked. 習語

自己的真面目会被揭穿。

It winds up at once grandly expecting

结果，它一方面自负地期望着

that others will recognize its sensational destiny

别人能认出它那轰动世界的命运，

and entirely unsure as to why or how 短語搭配

另一方面又完全不确定为什么或者如何

they might in fact do so.

别人真的会这么做。

The golden child cannot shake off a sense 短語動詞

“黄金儿童”无法摆脱一种感觉：

that it's very special and yet can't identify

觉得自己很特别，却又无法在自己身上找到

within itself any real grounds

任何真正的根据

why it should be so.

来证明为什么自己应当如此。

Its underlying longing is not to revolutionize nations

它潜在的渴望并不是去掀起国家的革命

and be honored across the ages.

并名垂千古。

It is to be accepted and loved 短語搭配

它是希望被接纳、被爱，

for who it is

仅仅为了它的本来面目，

in all its often unimpressive and faltering realities.

在它所有那些往往不起眼甚至踉跄的现实中。

It wishes, as we all do,

它希望，正如我们所有人所希望的那样，

to be seen and accepted for itself,

因其本真的面目被看到和接纳，

to have its faults and frailties forgiven

它的缺点和脆弱能被原谅

and acknowledged rather than denied or glossed over. 短語動詞

与承认，而不是被否认或掩饰。

It is, in the end,

说到底，

as much of an insult to one's authentic reality 語法

这对一个人的真实自我来说，

and as psychologically painful

是一种同等程度的侮辱，在心理上也是同等痛苦的：

to be praised for great things

因伟大的事迹而受到赞美，

one hasn't done and could never do

而这些事一个人未曾做过也永远做不到，

as to be attacked and blamed

这就好比遭到攻击和责备，

for sins one is innocent of. 短語搭配

为一个本是无辜的罪名买单一样。

The phenomenon suggests that true love

这种现象表明，真正的爱

should involve an agnosticism around a child's eventual level of worldly success. 用詞

应该对孩子最终能否在世俗层面上取得成功持不可知论态度。

It should ideally not matter to the parent

理想情况下，父母不应该在意

where a child ends up, 短語動詞

孩子最终会有怎样的结局，

or rather, it should matter only

或者说，父母的在意程度

in so far as, and no further than, 語法

应该仅仅与孩子在意的程度一致，

it matters to the child.

绝不越界。

Parents who see their child in golden terms 習語

把孩子视为“黄金儿童”的父母

are not, of course, consciously cruel. 語氣意圖

当然不是有意要那么残忍。

They are merely, with tragic fervor,

他们只是带着悲剧般的热情，

misdirecting energies that have failed to find a better destination. 習語

错用了一直未能找到更好去处的精力。

The child covertly being asked to redeem 用詞

孩子在暗中被要求去挽救

a career that did not go as expected,

一段未如预期的职业生涯、

a depressed mood that did not lift, 習語

一种挥之不去的抑郁情绪，

or a marriage that proved unusually intolerable. 語法

或是一段极其令人难以忍受的婚姻。

The golden child is, over time,

随着时间的推移，这个“黄金儿童”

destined for a moment of breakdown 短語搭配

必然会迎来崩溃的时刻，

when the hopes invested in it fail to be realized. 習語

当寄托在它身上的希望未能实现时。

The golden future will,

那个黄金般的未来，

it starts to be clear,

事情开始变得清晰，

never materialize. 用詞

将永远不会成为现实。

But a bigger prize awaits, 習語

但一个更大的奖赏在等待着，

a feeling of liberation from expectations 短語搭配

那是一种从期望中解脱的自由感，

that were always disconnected from reality.

这些期望往往与现实脱节。

The golden child is freed to enjoy a momentous truth

“黄金儿童”得以自由地享受一个重大的真理：

that a life does not need to be golden 講解

人生并不需要光芒万丈

in order to be valuable.

才能有价值。

That we can live in baser metal forms, 習語

我们可以以普通金属的形态生活，

in pewter or iron,

比如白镴或废铁，

and still be worthy of love and adequate self-esteem. 短語搭配

但依然值得被爱，并拥有充足的自尊。

And, even though this has nothing to do 短語搭配

而且，尽管这与

with the original expectations one was asked to shoulder,

最初被要求肩负的期望毫无关系，

that realization will be the truly exceptional achievement. 表達脈絡

但这种感悟将是真正非凡的成就。

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