对“床技不佳”的恐惧：英语精读讲义

At moments of low self-esteem, it can be hard to avoid the fear that we may,

在自尊心低落的时刻，我们很难不产生这样一种恐惧：

and this might explain certain relationship hiccups, 習語

这或许也解释了某些恋爱关系中的小摩擦，

be really quite bad in bed. 習語

也就是我们在床上表现得很差。

Three anxieties tend to predominate,

通常会有三种主要的焦虑：

that our bodies are not attractive enough,

我们的身体不够有吸引力，

that we don't practice or know about certain positions,

我们没有练习过或不知道某些体位，

and that we tire too easily.

以及我们太容易疲惫。

These fears reflect an underlying view 短語搭配

这些恐惧反映了一种潜在的观点，

that sex is predominantly an athletic or aerobic activity,

即性主要是一项运动或有氧活动，

and that therefore good sex must hinge on a capacity 短語動詞

因此高质量的性生活必然取决于

to flex our bodies optimally.

身体达到最佳柔韧度与灵活性的能力。

But this risks misunderstanding 語法

但这种想法可能会让我们误解

what lies at the core of eroticism. 習語

性感与情欲的核心究竟是什么。

For though sex traditionally makes use of our bodies,

因为尽管传统上性爱需要运用我们的身体，

sexual pleasure may more accurately be thought of 語法

但性愉悦或许可以更准确地被看作

as stemming from certain maneuvers of the mind. 短語動詞

是源自于心智的某种运作。

As new technology is showing us,

正如新技术向我们展示的那样，

it's quite possible for two people to generate extraordinary eroticism

两个人完全有可能产生非凡的情欲，

while their bodies are a continent or more apart. 習語

即使他们的身体相隔一整个大洲甚至更远。

That's because eroticism is, in truth,

这是因为情欲实际上

about something else entirely, ideas.

完全是另一回事——它关乎思想。

Being a good lover is first and foremost 短語搭配

成为一个优秀的伴侣，首先而且最重要的是

a skill of the mind.

一种心智上的技巧。

Sex grows pleasurable the more it functions as a release 語法

性爱越是能作为一种释放，它就越令人愉悦，

from a great many of the ideas of what is normal 短語搭配

释放掉许多关于何为“正常”的观念，

that dominate in non-sexual life.

那些在非性生活中占据主导地位的观念。

Good sex allows us to admit to and share

高质量的性生活让我们得以承认并分享

a maximal amount of what we must normally keep hidden.

绝大多数通常必须隐藏起来的东西。

In good sex, we will, for example,

在美妙的性爱中，比如，我们将会

be allowed to show that

被允许展现出，

we're more interested in controlling and dominating someone

自己对控制和支配他人的兴趣

than we normally let on, 短語動詞

其实比我们平时表露的要浓厚得多，

or conversely, that we're very keen to submit 講解

或者反过来说，我们非常渴望屈从

and be entirely weak.

并展现出完全柔弱的一面。

We might want to subvert the hierarchies of normal life 用詞

我们可能想要颠覆日常生活中的等级制度，

by exploring scenarios of pilots and cabin attendants,

去探索飞行员与空乘人员、

professors and students, patients and doctors.

教授与学生、病患与医生的角色扮演。

We might confess that, though monogamous by nature,

我们可能会坦白，虽然本性上是一夫一妻制的拥护者，

the idea of other people watching us or joining us

但有人旁观或加入我们的想法

excites us really rather a lot. 用詞

实际上非常让我们兴奋。

Or we may reveal that our erotic interests don't actually,

又或者我们会透露，我们的性趣其实并非

as they're meant to, circle exclusively around genitals, 講解

像理所当然的那样完全围绕生殖器转，

that we're really pretty interested in more incidental things

而是对那些看似不相干的地方非常感兴趣，

like wrists or the back of necks,

比如手腕或后颈，

or indeed shoes or tights. 表達脈絡

甚至是鞋子或紧身裤。

We might be brave enough to challenge the normal chronological rules, 語法

我们或许有勇气挑战常规的时间节奏，

revealing that we'd like to spend a hugely long time

坦言我们想花上非常长的时间

with our clothes still on,

穿着衣服亲热，

or indeed rush straight in without decorum. 講解

又或者是不顾任何礼节直奔主题。

Sexiness is the excitement of feeling released

性感，是一种因感受到释放而产生的兴奋感，

from the restrictive taboos of the rest of our lives,

从我们生活其余部分的束缚和禁忌中挣脱出来。

It's a safe, mutually caring place

它是一个安全的、彼此关怀的空间，

where we can take someone else 習語

在这里，我们可以把另一个人

into the not entirely responsible,

带入我们那不完全负责任、

somewhat cruel and mad sides of us.

甚至有些残忍和疯狂的一面。

That someone gives us permission to do this, 短語搭配

而那个人允许我们这样做，

that is at the core of what sexiness is.

这正是性感的核心所在。

The person who is good in bed,

因此，所谓在床上表现好的人，

therefore, isn't the one who knows how to 表達脈絡

并不是那个懂得如何

articulate themselves rhythmically for extended periods. 用詞

长时间跟着节奏扭动身体的人。

It's the person who encourages, endorses, and legitimates 用詞

而是那个鼓励、认可并使得

our secret lonely selves,

我们隐秘而孤独的自我变得合理化的人，

at the same time as being very aware of 語法

同时，他们也非常清楚地知道

and honest about their own private wishes and enthusiasms.

并且诚实面对自己私密的愿望与热情。

It's about a mutual nakedness of the mind, 習語

这关乎彼此精神上的坦诚相见，

made possible through trust. 短語搭配

而正是信任让这一切成为可能。