究竟是什么让人魅力四射？：英语精读讲义

Understandably enough, our societies pay vast attention to the idea of sexiness. 語氣意圖

可以理解，我们的社会对性感这一概念投入了极大的关注。

Far more questionably, they tempt us to believe that it might be easy to understand what this quality consists of. 講解

但更值得怀疑的是，社会让我们误以为，要弄清性感的本质轻而易举。

The leading suggestion takes its starting point from the biological sciences. 短語搭配

最主流的观点从生物学角度出发。

We learn that sex aims at successful reproduction and genetic fitness in the coming generation. 短語搭配

我们得知，性的目的是为了成功繁衍后代以及下一代的基因适应性。

Therefore, sexiness must logically comprise a host of semi-conscious signals of fertility and of resistance to disease. 短語搭配

因此，按理说性感一定包含了一系列关于生育能力和抗病能力的半潜意识信号。

Bilateral facial symmetry, large bright pupils, full lips, youthful skin, and melanin-rich hair.

面部双侧对称、又大又亮的瞳孔、丰满的嘴唇、年轻的肌肤，还有富含黑色素的头发。

But, this analysis too quickly assumes that it might be simple to know what sex really aims at. 表達脈絡

但是，这种分析太草率地假设我们能轻易弄清性行为的真正目的。

Unlike most other living beings, our biological drives sit alongside and at points take second place to a range of emotional priorities. 習語

与大多数其他生物不同，我们的生物本能与各种情感需求并存，有时甚至退居其次。

Chief among these is the desire to overcome loneliness and share our vulnerability within the arms of a safe and intimate other. 語法

首当其冲的，便是渴望克服孤独感，在安全而亲密的人怀中袒露我们的脆弱。

We seek, through a physical act, to overcome our customary psychological alienation and a host of painful barriers to being known and accepted. 短語搭配

我们试图通过身体上的行为，来克服习以为常的心理疏离，打破那些阻碍我们被了解和接纳的痛苦屏障。

Viewed through such a lens, 表達脈絡

从这个角度来看，

the erotic is not so much a promise of reproductive health 語法

情欲与其说是繁育健康的承诺，

as a suggestion of a redemptive capacity for closeness,

不如说是暗示着一种救赎的能力，能带来亲密、

connection, understanding,

连结、理解，

and an end to shame and isolation.

以及终结羞耻与孤立。

It is this emotional mission that explains the conundrum sometimes generated by people whom one would expect, 語法

正是这种情感使命，解释了有时让人困惑的现象：有些按理来说，

by all standard biological criteria,

根据所有标准生物学标准，

to possess an exemplary sexual aura,

拥有完美性感光环的人，

but who manage to leave us cold. 習語

却让我们感到无动于衷。

Just as it may shed light on the associated puzzle of those physically more challenged candidates 習語

同样，这也解开了另一个相关的谜团：为什么那些外貌上更具挑战的候选人，

who nevertheless lay claim to a rare power 短語搭配

却能拥有一种罕见的魔力，

far outstripping the quality of their hair 用詞

这种力量远远超过了他们头发的发质，

or the luster of their eyes.

或者眼睛的神采。

The people whom we call sexy,

那些我们称之为性感的人，

despite or aside from the raw facts of their appearance,

不管他们的外表这些客观事实如何，

are those whose features and manner suggest an unusual ability

他们的容貌和举止都暗示着一种非凡的能力，

to fulfill the underlying emotional purpose of lovemaking. 短語搭配

能够满足做爱深层的情感目的。

The way they respond to a joke,

他们对一个笑话的反应方式、

the curve of an eyebrow,

眉毛的弧度、

the characteristic motion of their forehead,

额头特有的动作、

the way of holding their hands,

牵手的方式，

convey in an unconsciously understood but hugely eloquent language 習語

都在用一种无意识却极具表现力的语言传达着：

that one is in the presence of a kindly being

你正身处一个善良的人面前，

who is liable to understand our broken and confused aspects, 語法

这个人很可能会理解我们破碎而迷惘的一面，

to help us over our loneliness and submerged sadness,

帮助我们克服孤独和深藏的悲伤，

and reassure us of our basic legitimacy and worth.

并让我们确信自己基本的正当性与价值。

Someone with whom we can at last reduce our normal suspicions,

与他们在一起，我们终于可以放下平时的戒备，

cast aside our armor, 習語

脱下盔甲，

and feel safe, playful, and accepted.

感到安全、快乐，并被完全接纳。

Whatever the quality of their skin 語法

无论他们的肤质如何，

or balance of their proportions,

或者身材比例是否匀称，

it is these aspects that have a true power to excite us.

真正能让我们兴奋的，正是这些特质。

In a melancholy and avoidant world,

在一个忧郁又习惯逃避的世界里，

this is the real turn-on. 用詞

这才是真正的兴奋点。

We hear so much about what we might need to do

我们听了太多关于应该做些什么，

to increase our physical appeal,

来提升外在吸引力的建议，

but by getting more detailed about the psychological traits that drive desire, 語法

但如果能更详细地了解驱动欲望的心理特质，

we could learn to pay as much, if not more attention, 語法

我们就能学会投入同等甚至更多的注意力，

to the foundations of an exciting mindset.

去培养一种令人心动的思维模式。

Armed with a broader understanding of the aims of sexuality, 習語

有了对性目标的更广阔理解，

some of the following might also henceforth deserve

以下一些特质从今以后也同样值得

to be counted as valuable sources of sexiness. 語法

被视为有价值的性感源泉。

A sense of being slightly at odds with mainstream society. 短語搭配

一种与主流社会略显格格不入的感觉。

Whether at work, with friends, or around family,

无论是在工作中、朋友间还是家人身边，

we're too often hemmed in by exhausting requirements to fit in 短語動詞

我们常常被那些为了融入群体而令人筋疲力尽的要求所束缚，

and subscribe to dominant notions of what it means to be good and acceptable, 短語搭配

不得不盲从那些关于什么是“好”和“可接受”的主流观念，

requirements which nevertheless leave behind or censor

然而，这些要求却抛弃或压抑了

a lot of our internal reality.

我们很多内在的真实。

There ends up being a lot we mustn't say 短語動詞

结果是，有很多话我们不能说，

and even more we shouldn't even really feel.

甚至有更多情绪我们连感受都不应该有。

What a relief then to note, 表達脈絡

那么，当你注意到——

perhaps via a wry twitch in another's upper lip,

也许是通过对方上唇一丝苦笑的抽动——

that we are in the presence of someone who knows how to adopt 短語搭配

眼前这个人懂得如何采取一种

a gently skeptical perspective on prevailing assumptions,

温和审视的态度看待那些普遍假设时，那是多么令人欣慰，

someone with whom we'd be able to break away 短語動詞

有了这样的人，我们就能挣脱束缚，

and express doubts about revered ideas or people

对那些备受尊崇的理念或人物表达质疑，

and cast a cathartically skeptical gaze on the normal rules of life. 短語搭配

并以一种释然的怀疑目光，去审视生活的常规法则。

Good sex promises to feel like something of a conspiracy against everybody else. 習語

愉悦的性爱注定感觉就像是一场针对所有其他人的共谋。

An unshockable nature.

一种处变不惊的特质。

The more we're honest with and exploratory about ourselves, 語法

我们对自己越诚实，越敢于探索自我，

the more we realize that there is much inside our characters

就越会意识到，我们性格的深处

that might surprise or horrify outsiders,

藏着许多可能会让外人惊讶或恐惧的东西，

that we possess alarming degrees of vulnerability,

我们拥有着令人担忧的脆弱、

meanness,

刻薄、

strangeness,

古怪、

waywardness, and folly.

任性与荒唐。

Our standard response may be shame and embarrassment,

我们的标准反应可能是羞愧和尴尬，

and yet we quietly hunger to be properly witnessed 習語

然而，我们内心却渴望被真正看见，

and accepted as we really are. 語法

并以最真实的面貌被接纳。

What may prove supremely sexy, therefore, 用詞

因此，可能极具性感魅力的，

are suggestions that another person has explored

是暗示另一个人已经勇敢地探索了

their own deeper selves with courage,

他们自己内心深处的自我，

has a handle on their darkness, 習語

能把控自己的黑暗面，

and may, on this basis,

并可能在此基础上，

be capable of extending

有能力以一种

an uncensorious perspective on our own.

不加评判的目光看待我们的阴暗。

A tension between good and bad.

好与坏之间的张力。

Someone who paid no attention whatsoever to decency 短語搭配

一个完全不顾体面、

and scoffed at all propriety might be merely alarming. 用詞

嘲笑一切规矩的人，可能只会让人感到恐慌。

Yet, what can prove uniquely appealing

然而，真正具有独特吸引力的，

is a person alive both to duty and temptation, 用詞

是那种既能感受到责任，又会被诱惑吸引的人，

to the pull of maturity

他们既能体会成熟的拉扯，

and the draw at least for a little while

又能至少在短暂的、

in the early hours of wickedness.

夜深人静时被放纵所诱惑。

A divided person

这是一个矛盾的人，

simultaneously responsible

既有责任感，

and marked by a touch of desperation. 短語搭配

又带有一丝不顾一切的狂放。

Vigor and impatience.

活力与不羁。

In addition, might come a potential for aggression and anger 語法

此外，他们可能还潜藏着攻击性和愤怒感，

that they managed to keep very sanely under control in daily life, 短語搭配

在日常生活中他们能非常理智地将这些控制住，

but that they knew how to release at points in private.

但却知道如何在私密时刻适当释放。

Someone whose capacity for a little cruelty

一个偶尔能展现出一点点残忍的人，

was all the more moving because it stood out 講解

之所以更加动人，是因为这与他们

against a customary habit of extreme consideration and gentleness.

平时极端体贴和温柔的习惯形成了鲜明对比。

Kindness.

善良。

A lot of our reality deserves compassion and sympathy.

我们现实生活中的很多方面都需要同情和怜悯。

How compelling, therefore,

因此，那该是多么令人不可抗拒——

to come across someone whose features 短語動詞

遇到一个眉宇间

would belie a willingness to extend charity 講解

流露出愿意施予善意的人，

towards a lot that is less than perfect in human nature.

包容人性中那些不完美的地方。

Someone who could know how much we stand in need of forgiveness 用詞

这个人能够知道我们多么需要宽恕，

and who could laugh generously with and at us 語氣意圖

能够慷慨地与我们一起欢笑，甚至自嘲，

because they knew how to do the same in relation to themselves.

因为他们知道如何以同样的态度对待自己。

We've allowed our concern for sexiness 語法

我们任由对性感的关注

to be coarsened by physical obsession

被对肉体的痴迷所粗俗化，

because we are under the sway 習語

因为我们受制于

of an overly simplistic biological sense

对性可能追求的目标

of what sex might be aiming at.

一种过于简化的生物学观念。

Yet, by recovering contact 語法

然而，通过重新建立联系，

with some of what we emotionally crave from another person,

去触碰我们在情感上对另一个人的渴望，

we can, happily, but not merely conveniently, 表達脈絡

我们可以欣喜地，而不仅仅是顺理成章地，

rediscover that the real turn-on

重新发现真正让人兴奋的，

is never just a well-polished body, 表達脈絡

从来都不只是一具完美的躯体，

but always and primordially a well-fashioned soul.

而始终、最根本的是一个有趣的灵魂。

Great dates are made up of great conversations.

绝佳的约会源于绝佳的对话。

Our dating cards are designed to spark insightful and playful encounters.

我们的约会卡牌旨在激发深刻而有趣的邂逅。

Click the link on screen now to find out more.

立即点击屏幕上的链接了解更多。