建立良好的人际关系 - 6分钟英语：英语精读讲义

Six Minute English from BBCLearningEnglish.com.

来自 BBCLearningEnglish.com 的《六分钟英语》。

Hello,

大家好，

this is Six Minute English from BBC Learning English.

这里是 BBC 英语教学的《六分钟英语》。

I'm Neil.

我是尼尔。

And I'm Georgina.

我是乔治娜。

Georgina and I have got to know each other very well 語法

乔治娜和我已经非常了解彼此了

after working together for so long.

毕竟我们在一起工作了这么久。

I know what sandwiches Neil has for lunch.

我知道尼尔午餐吃什么三明治。

Egg and tomato,

鸡蛋和西红柿，

right, Neil?

对吧，尼尔？

Right.

没错。

And I know it really annoys Georgina

我也知道乔治娜会很反感

when people don't wash up their cups in the staff kitchen. 短語動詞

当人们在员工厨房不洗自己的杯子时。

So unhygienic.

太不卫生了。

But just as important as getting to know someone socially or at work 講解

但和在社交或工作中了解一个人同样重要的

is getting on with people.

是与人相处融洽。

To get on with someone is a useful phrasal verb 短語動詞

“Get on with someone”是一个实用的动词短语，

meaning to like someone

意思是喜欢某人

and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.

并与他们保持友好的关系。

Which is really important

这非常重要，

if you work with them every day.

特别是如果你每天都要和他们一起工作。

And there's another word to describe the good understanding

还有一个词可以用来描述两个朋友之间的良好默契

and communication between two friends,

和沟通，

rapport. 用詞

也就是“rapport”（默契/融洽）。

Yes,

是的，

how you build rapport and get on with people 短語搭配

如何建立默契并与人融洽相处

has been the subject of many self-help books over the years 短語搭配

多年来一直是许多自助书籍的主题，

and is the topic of this program.

这也是本期节目的主题。

Well,

嗯，

you and I must have great rapport, Georgina,

你和我一定有很好的默契，乔治娜，

because that leads perfectly onto my quiz question. 表達脈絡

因为这完美地引出了我的问答题。

In 1936,

在1936年，

American writer Dale Carnegie

美国作家戴尔·卡耐基

wrote a famous self-help book on building rapport. 用詞

写了一本关于建立人际关系的著名自助书。

It sold over 30 million copies,

这本书的销量超过了3000万册，

making it one of the best-selling books of all time. 講解

成为有史以来最畅销的书籍之一。

But what was it called?

但它叫什么名字呢？

Is it A,

是 A，

How to Get Rich Quick? 習語

《如何快速致富》？

B,

B，

How to Stop Worrying and Make Friends?

《如何停止忧虑并结交朋友》？

or C,

还是 C，

How to Win Friends and Influence People? 用詞

《人性的弱点》（如何赢得朋友并影响他人）？

Hmm,

唔，

I think I know this,

我觉得我知道这个，

Neil.

尼尔。

I'm going to say C, 語氣意圖

我选 C，

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

《人性的弱点》。

Okay,

好的，

Georgina,

乔治娜，

we'll find out if that's right at the end of the program. 短語動詞

我们在节目最后会揭晓这是否正确。

When it comes to getting on with people, 表達脈絡

谈到与人相处，

psychologist Emily Alison has a few ideas.

心理学家艾米丽·艾莉森有一些见解。

She's built a career working with the police 短語搭配

她在工作中一直与警察合作，

as they build rapport with criminal suspects. 用詞

帮助他们与犯罪嫌疑人建立信任关系。

Emily is the author of a new book,

艾米丽是一本新书的作者，

Rapport: The Four Ways to Read People. 習語

书名是《建立默契：解读他人的四种方式》。

And she told BBC Radio 4 program All in the Mind,

她在 BBC Radio 4 的节目《头脑特工》中提到，

it isn't easy to get along with everyone. 短語動詞

与每个人都相处融洽并不容易。

I often describe rapport-building in a relationship

我经常把在一段关系中建立默契

as like walking a tightrope 習語

比作走钢丝

because you really do need to maintain 講解

因为你确实需要保持

that balance of being objective,

保持客观的那种平衡，

treating people with compassion, 短語搭配

带着同情心对待别人，

but that doesn't mean I'm sympathetic, 語法

但这并不意味着我同情他们，

I'm collusive.

或者我与他们串通一气。

It's that balance between judgment and avoidance. 短語搭配

这是评判与回避之间的那种平衡。

Emily describes rapport

艾米丽将建立默契

building as like walking a tightrope,

描述为像走钢丝一样，

an idiom to describe being in a difficult situation

这个习语用来形容处于困境之中，

which requires carefully considering what to do. 短語搭配

需要谨慎考虑该怎么做。

Building rapport with terrorists

与恐怖分子建立信任关系

or violent criminals isn't easy.

或者暴力罪犯并不容易。

Emily doesn't sympathize 短語搭配

艾米丽并不同情

with what they've done,

他们的所作所为，

but she tries to remain objective, 短語搭配

但她尽量保持客观，

to base her judgment on the facts, 短語搭配

根据事实作出判断，

not personal feelings.

而不是个人感情。

In her book,

在她的书中，

Emily identifies four main communication styles,

艾米丽确定了四种主要的沟通风格，

which she names after animals. 短語搭配

她以动物的名字来命名它们。

The best at building rapport

最善于建立默契的

is the friendly and cooperative monkey.

是友好而合作的猴子。

And there's a pair of opposites, 短語搭配

还有一对截然相反的类型，

the bossy lion who wants to take charge 短語搭配

喜欢发号施令、想掌控一切的

and control things

专横的狮子，

and the more passive mouse.

以及更被动的老鼠。

Here's Emily talking

以下是艾米丽在

to BBC Radio 4's

BBC Radio 4 的

All in the Mind about

《头脑特工》节目中谈论

the fourth animal,

第四种动物，

the T-Rex.

霸王龙。

Try to listen out for the communication 短語動詞

试着听出这种性格的

style of this personality.

沟通风格。

You've got the T-Rex,

还有霸王龙，

which is conflict.

代表着冲突。

So this is argument,

所以这是关于争论，

whether you're approaching it from a positive position 語法

无论你是从积极的立场出发，

where you can be direct,

可以直接、

frank about your message, 用詞

坦诚地传达你的信息，

or you approach that in a negative

还是你以一种消极的

way by being attacking, 用詞

方式来处理，具有攻击性、

judgmental,

评判性、

argumentative,

好辩、

sarcastic,

喜欢讽刺，

that actually breeds the same behavior back. 習語

这实际上会招致同样的回报。

So anyone who has teenagers

所以任何有青少年的家长

will 100% recognize that. 用詞

都会百分之百地认同这一点。

Um,

嗯，

if you meet sarcasm with sarcasm, 短語搭配

如果你以讽刺对待讽刺，

it's only going to go one way. 習語

事情只会朝着一个方向发展。

All four communication

这四种沟通

styles have good and bad points. 短語搭配

风格都有其优缺点。

On the positive side, 表達脈絡

从积极的一面来看，

T-Rex type people are frank.

霸王龙类型的人很坦率。

They express themselves in an open, 短語搭配

他们以一种开放、

honest way.

诚实的方式表达自己。

But T-Rex types

但是霸王龙类型的人

can also be sarcastic,

也可能喜欢挖苦别人，

say the opposite of what they really mean 語法

说出与自己真实想法相反的话，

in order to hurt someone's feelings 講解

以便伤害别人的感情

or criticize them in a funny way.

或者以一种好笑的方式批评他们。

Yes,

是的，

sarcasm is a strange thing,

讽刺是一件奇怪的事情，

like saying,

就像说，

"Oh, I really like your haircut,"

“哦，我真的很喜欢你的发型，”

when in fact you don't. 短語搭配

而实际上你并不喜欢。

Yes,

是的，

there's an English saying that

英国有句谚语说

sarcasm is the lowest form of humor, 習語

讽刺是最低级的幽默形式，

but I think British people can be quite sarcastic at times. 短語搭配

但我认为英国人有时真的挺爱讽刺的。

Well,

嗯，

I can't imagine you'd make many friends being rude to people. 講解

我无法想象对别人粗鲁能交到很多朋友。

Maybe they should read Dale Carnegie's self-help book.

也许他们应该读读戴尔·卡耐基的自助书。

Ah,

啊，

yes,

对了，

your quiz question,

你的问答题，

Neil.

尼尔。

Was my answer right?

我的答案对吗？

In my quiz question,

在我的问答题中，

I asked Georgina for the title

我问了乔治娜关于书名的问题，

of Dale Carnegie's best-selling self-help book

即戴尔·卡耐基关于建立人际关系的

about building rapport.

畅销自助书。

What did you say?

你选了什么？

I said the book is called C,

我说这本书叫 C，

How to Win Friends and Influence People.

《人性的弱点》。

Which is the correct answer.

这是正确的答案。

And I guess you've read it, 語氣意圖

我猜你已经读过了，

Georgina,

乔治娜，

because you have lots of friends.

因为你有很多朋友。

I hope you're not being sarcastic, 語氣意圖

我希望你不是在讽刺我，

Neil.

尼尔。

Absolutely not. 語氣意圖

绝对没有。

I'm not a sarcastic T-Rex type,

我不是一个爱挖苦人的霸王龙类型，

more of a friendly monkey. 語法

更像是一只友善的猴子。

Okay,

好的，

well,

嗯，

let's stay friends

让我们继续做朋友吧，

and recap the vocabulary from this program, 表達脈絡

并回顾一下本期节目的词汇，

starting with rapport,

首先是“rapport”（默契/融洽），

a good feeling between two people

两个人之间的良好感觉

based on understanding and communication. 語法

建立在理解和沟通的基础上。

If you get on with someone,

如果你“get on with someone”（与某人合得来），

you like and enjoy a friendly relationship with them.

你就会喜欢他们并享受与他们的友好关系。

Walking a tightrope

“Walking a tightrope”（走钢丝）

means to be in a difficult situation

意思是处于一个困难的境地，

which requires careful consideration of what to do.

需要仔细考虑该怎么做。

To be objective

“To be objective”（保持客观）

is to base your actions on facts

是将你的行动建立在事实上

rather than personal feelings. 語法

而不是个人感觉上。

When building rapport with someone,

在与人建立默契时，

it's good to be frank,

坦率（frank）是一件好事，

to express yourself in an open,

也就是以一种开放、

honest way.

诚实的方式表达自己。

But not sarcastic,

但不要讽刺（sarcastic），

to say the opposite of what you really mean

即说出与真实意图相反的话，

in order to hurt someone's feelings

为了伤害他人的感情，

or criticize them in a humorous way.

或以幽默的方式批评别人。

Well,

好了，

Neil,

尼尔，

if we run over six minutes, 短語動詞

如果我们的节目超过六分钟，

we'll break our rapport with the Six Minute English producer. 短語搭配

我们就会破坏与《六分钟英语》制作人的默契。

So that's all for this 表達脈絡

这就是本期节目的全部内容。

program. Join us again soon

欢迎很快再次加入我们，

for more trending topics 用詞

了解更多热门话题

and useful vocabulary.

和实用词汇。

And remember to download

请记得下载

the BBC Learning English app

BBC 英语教学应用程序，

and stay friends 語氣意圖

并与我们保持朋友关系，

by following us on social media.

在社交媒体上关注我们。

Bye for now.

暂且再见。

Bye.

再见。

Six Minute English from the BBC.

来自 BBC 的《六分钟英语》。