我们是如何对自己撒谎的：英语精读讲义

A major obstacle to self-knowledge and in turn to a flourishing life 短語搭配

阻碍自我认知、进而阻碍我们过上繁荣生活的一大障碍，

is the tendency of one part of our minds to lie to the other. 語法

是我们大脑的一部分倾向于对另一部分撒谎。

We lie for what might initially seem like a very understandable reason, 語法

我们撒谎的最初原因似乎很好理解，

because we want to avoid pain.

因为我们想要避免痛苦。

But in so doing, 短語搭配

但这样做，

we hugely damage our chances of happiness. 短語搭配

我们却极大地破坏了自己获得幸福的机会。

There are four things we particularly like to lie to ourselves about.

我们特别喜欢在四个方面对自己撒谎。

We lie about all the problematic aspects

我们会对所有那些棘手的问题撒谎，

it would take so much effort to alter 語法

那些需要付出巨大努力才能改变的事情——

our jobs,

我们的工作，

our relationships,

我们的感情，

our friendships,

我们的友谊，

our health,

我们的健康，

our habits and ideas.

还有我们的习惯与观念。

We lie because we need to think well of ourselves 短語搭配

我们撒谎是因为我们需要觉得自己还不错，

and are devoted to imagining that we are essentially normal, 短語搭配

并且致力于想象自己本质上是个正常人，

without peculiar loves, hates and deviant thoughts.

没有任何古怪的爱恨或偏离常轨的想法。

We lie because we don't want to feel so inadequate

我们撒谎是因为不想感到自己如此无能，

and yet because we lack so many good things.

然而事实上我们又缺乏那么多美好的东西。

We lie because we're furious with certain people we're supposed to love, 語法

我们撒谎是因为我们对那些本该去爱的人感到愤怒，

and we lie because what we're furious about feels so minor

我们撒谎也是因为让我们愤怒的事物感觉如此微不足道，

and pathetically petty for a grown-up to care about.

对于一个成年人来说，在乎这些显得可悲又小气。

Given how risky the truth about us can feel, 語法

鉴于直面自己的真相让人感觉充满风险，

we've had to learn to be masters of deception. 習語

我们不得不学会成为欺骗的伪装大师。

Our techniques are wide-ranging,

我们的手段十分广泛，

devilish, and often hugely imaginative.

邪恶且常常充满极大的想象力。

Here are some of the leading maneuvers

以下是一些常用的策略，

we employ to pull the wool over our own eyes. 習語

我们用它们来蒙蔽自己的双眼。

We identify something that can powerfully keep our thoughts away from troubling inner confrontations.

我们会找一些能强有力地把我们的思绪从烦人的内心冲突中拉开的事物。

Online pornography is a favorite, 表達脈絡

网络色情是首选，

the news another,

新闻是其二，

alcohol a third,

酒精是其三，

work a fourth.

工作是其四。

We don't so much like these elements in and of themselves. 短語搭配

我们并不是真的那么喜欢这些东西本身。

We like them for their ability

我们喜欢它们，是因为它们有能力

to keep us away from what we fear.

让我们远离自己所恐惧的事物。

A sadness we haven't been able to admit to

我们无法承认的悲伤，

is often covered up with exaggerated doses of manic cheeriness. 短語動詞

往往被夸张的、近乎狂躁的快乐所掩盖。

We aren't happy so much as incapable of allowing ourselves to feel 語法

我们与其说是快乐，不如说是无法允许自己去感受

even the slightest sadness in case we were to be overwhelmed by our buried grief. 語法

哪怕是最轻微的悲伤，生怕我们会被深埋的悲痛所吞噬。

We develop a brittle,

我们养成了一种脆弱而又

insistent tendency to say that all is very well.

固执的倾向，总爱说一切都很好。

This is lovely, isn't it? 語氣意圖

“这很棒，不是吗？”

We might press,

我们可能会强行这么说，

leaving no room for any ideas to the contrary. 短語搭配

不给任何相反的意见留有余地。

Denied anger with a particular personal situation

在特定的人际环境中被压抑的愤怒，

often seeps out into a generalized irritability. 習語

往往会演变成一种普遍的易怒情绪。

So successful is the lie, 語法

这个谎言是如此成功，

we don't really know what's up.

以至于我们真的不知道怎么了。

We just keep losing our temper. 短語搭配

我们只是不停地发脾气。

Someone's moved the TV remote,

有人挪动了电视遥控器，

there aren't any eggs in the fridge,

冰箱里没鸡蛋了，

the electricity bill is slightly higher than we expected.

电费比我们预期的稍微高了一点。

Anything can set us off. 短語動詞

任何事都能让我们暴跳如雷。

Our brains are so filled with how frustrating and annoying things are,

我们的脑子里塞满了事情有多令人沮丧和恼火，

we've cleverly left no space at all

我们巧妙地没有留出任何空间

for focusing on the true and very sad issue.

去关注那个真正且非常悲伤的问题。

We tell ourselves that we simply don't care about something,

我们告诉自己，我们就是不在乎某件事，

love or politics,

无论是爱情还是政治，

career success or intellectual life,

职业上的成功还是精神生活，

that beautiful student or the house we can't afford.

那个漂亮的学生还是我们买不起的房子。

And we are very emphatic about our lack of interest and complete disdain. 用詞

我们非常强调自己缺乏兴趣和完全不屑一顾。

We go to great lengths to make it very clear 習語

我们竭尽全力地表明

to others and ourselves how absolutely unconcerned we are.

让别人和我们自己知道我们是多么地漠不关心。

We grow censorious and deeply disapproving of certain kinds of behavior and people.

我们变得爱吹毛求疵，强烈反对某些行为和人。

What we don't admit is that we're so full of condemnation

我们不愿承认的是，我们之所以如此充满谴责，

only because we need to ward off awareness 短語動詞

仅仅是因为我们需要防备自己意识到，

that a part of us, in fact,

事实上，我们的一部分

really likes the condemned element.

真的很喜欢那些被谴责的东西。

We attack certain sexual tastes as utterly deviant and beyond the pale, 習語

我们攻击某些性偏好，说它们完全越轨、不可接受，

precisely because we have known

正是因为我们早已知道

that we share them somewhere inside ourselves.

我们内心的某个角落也同样有这样的渴望。

So we're delighted when particular people are arrested or shamed in the press.

所以，当某些人在媒体上被捕或被羞辱时，我们会很高兴。

What they did was utterly awful,

他们做的事简直糟糕透顶，

we insist

我们坚持认为，

our outrage shielding us from any risks spotting the connection between them and us.

我们的愤怒像是一面盾牌，保护我们免于发现他们和我们之间的联系。

When there's unwelcomed news,

当出现不受欢迎的消息时，

we may resort to a highly successful diversionary tactic, 短語搭配

我们可能会采取一种非常成功的转移注意力的策略：

taking offense. 短語搭配

表现得被冒犯了。

A colleague tries to give us a bit of feedback. 短語搭配

一位同事试图给我们一点反馈。

Instantly,

瞬间，

we accuse them of rudeness, 短語搭配

我们就指责他们粗鲁、

arrogance, and a sense of entitlement.

傲慢，以及自以为是。

A partner points something out, 短語動詞

伴侣指出了某件事，

we get furious that they're piling pressure on us at a difficult point. 短語搭配

我们就会暴怒，认为他们在我们困难的时候施加压力。

Feeling offended takes up all our attention. 短語動詞

感到被冒犯占据了我们所有的注意力。

It muddies the waters. 習語

它把水搅浑了。

We no longer have to pay attention to information

我们不再需要去关注那些

that is at heart correct, 習語

本质上是正确的，

but challenging.

但令人难堪的信息。

We're sad about particular things,

我们对某些特定的事情感到悲伤，

but confronting them would be so arduous,

但面对它们太过于艰难，

we generalize and universalize the sadness.

于是我们将悲伤普遍化、泛化。

We don't say that X or Y has made us sad,

我们不说X或Y让我们感到悲伤，

we say that everything is rather terrible

我们会说一切都很糟糕，

and everyone is rather awful.

每个人都很讨厌。

We spread the pain

我们把痛苦分散开来，

in order that its particular specific causes can no longer be the focus of attention. 語法

以至于它具体而特定的原因不再成为关注的焦点。

Our sadness gets,

我们的悲伤，

to put it metaphorically, 表達脈絡

打个比方来说，

lost in the crowd. 習語

迷失在了人群中。

Why is lying to ourselves a problem? 表達脈絡

为什么对自己撒谎是个问题？

We need to tell ourselves the truth when we can

我们需要在可能的时候告诉自己真相，

for the simple reason 短語搭配

原因很简单，

that we often pay a very high price 習語

我们经常要付出非常高昂的代价

for the short-term calm of our lies.

来换取谎言带来的短暂平静。

We miss key opportunities for growth and learning.

我们错失了成长和学习的关键机会。

We're not very nice to be around. 用詞

我们变得不那么平易近人。

We develop harmful systems.

我们养成了有害的行事系统。

And not least, 表達脈絡

而且最重要的是，

the truth will out. 習語

真相终将大白。

When we don't let it emerge,

当我们不让它浮现时，

it has a tendency to reveal itself through involuntary,

它往往会通过一些不受控制的、

often physical symptoms.

往往是身体上的症状显现出来。

We become insomniac or impotent,

我们开始失眠或无能，

an eyelid starts twitching,

眼皮开始跳动，

we acquire a stutter,

我们变得口吃，

we scream in our sleep,

我们在睡梦中尖叫，

we lose energy,

我们失去活力，

we fall into depression.

我们陷入抑郁。

We owe it to ourselves to dare to start 短語搭配

我们有责任让自己敢于开始

to confront our real nature.

面对我们真实的本性。