如何認識你自己：英語精讀講義

Many of us are wondering the Earth, accomplished in many ways,

我們中許多人在這世上徘徊，在很多方面取得了成就，

capable of fulfillment at many points,

在許多時候能感受到滿足，

but with a fundamental wound that stops us from becoming who we truly might be. 文法

但卻帶著一種根本的創傷，阻礙了我們成為真正的自己。

We don't quite know who we are. 用詞

我們並不太清楚自己是誰。

It isn't, of course, that we can't remember the basics of our biographies. 文法

當然，這並不是說我們記不住自己的基本履歷。

We're unsure around two things in particular.

我們特別在兩件事上感到不確定。

Firstly, we don't have a stable sense of what we're worth. 講解

首先，我們對自身價值沒有穩定的認知。

And secondly, we don't have a secure hold on our own values or judgments. 慣用語

其次，我們無法牢牢把握自己的價值觀或判斷。

Without knowing who we are,

如果不知道自己是誰，

we tend to have particular trouble coping with either denigration or adulation. 講解

我們往往會特別難以應對貶低或奉承。

If other people decide that we are worthless or bad,

如果別人認定我們毫無價值或糟糕透頂，

there will be nothing inside us to prevent us from swallowing their verdicts in their entirety, 慣用語

我們的內心將毫無防線，只能把他們的論斷全盤吞下，

however wrong-headed, extreme, or unkind these might be. 文法

無論這些論斷有多麼錯誤、極端或刻薄。

We'll be helpless before the court of public opinion. 慣用語

在輿論的法庭面前，我們會顯得孤立無援。

We'll always be asking other people what we deserve before seeking inside for an answer.

我們總是先問別人自己配得上什麼，而不是向內尋找答案。

lacking an independent verdict,

缺乏獨立的判斷，

we also stand to be unnaturally hungry for external praise. 講解

我們也會對外界的讚美產生異常的渴望。

The clapping of an audience will matter to us far more than would ever be wise. 文法

觀眾的掌聲對我們來說，會比理智所允許的程度重要得多。

We'll be prey to rushing towards whatever idea or activity the crowd happens to love. 慣用語

我們會淪為獵物，盲目追逐大眾碰巧喜歡的任何想法或活動。

We'll laugh at jokes that aren't funny,

我們會對著不好笑的笑話發笑，

uncritically accept undeserving concepts that are in vogue, 用詞

不加批判地接受那些不值得卻正在流行的概念，

and neglect our truer talents for easy popular wins.

並為了輕鬆迎合大眾而忽視了自己真正的才華。

We'll trail public opinion slavishly,

我們會像奴隸一樣尾隨公眾意見，

constantly checking the world's whims

不斷地察言觀色迎合世間的突發奇想，

rather than consulting an inner barometer 慣用語

而不是去查閱內心的晴雨表，

in order to know what we should want,

從而知道我們應該想要什麼、

feel, and value.

感受什麼以及看重什麼。

We need to be kind on ourselves.

我們需要對自己寬容一些。

No one is born with an independent ability to know who they are.

沒人天生就具備獨立認識自我的能力。

We learn to have an identity because,

我們之所以學會擁有自我認同，是因為，

if we're blessed, in our early years,

如果我們足夠幸運，在早年時期，

someone else takes the trouble to study us with immense fairness, 片語搭配

曾有另一個人費盡心思、無比公正地研究我們，

attention, and kindness,

傾注關注與善意，

and then plays us back to us in a way that makes sense 慣用語

然後以一種合理的方式向我們反饋，

and that we can later emulate.

讓我們後來可以去模仿。

They give us the beginning of a true portrait of our identity, 慣用語

他們為我們提供了身份認同的最初畫像，

which we can then take on and enrich over the years 片語動詞

我們隨後便可在此基礎上接受它，在歲月中充實它，

and use as a defense 片語搭配

並將其作為一種防禦，

against the distorting verdicts from hurried or ill-intentioned others.

抵禦那些來自匆忙或惡意之人的扭曲論斷。

Knowing who one is is really the legacy of having been known properly 文法

了解自己是誰，本質上是最初被他人

by somebody else at the start.

正確認知所留下的餽贈。

This early identity building tends to unfold 片語搭配

這種早期的身份塑造通常會

with apparently innocuous but lifesaving small steps.

透過看似無關緊要但卻至關救命的微小步驟展開。

"Oh, that must really have hurt," 文法

「喔，那一定很痛，」

a parent might say in response to an upset,

面對孩子的不安，父母可能會這樣回應，

thereby validating an infant's own feelings. 文法

從而認可了嬰兒自己的感受。

Or, "It's okay not to feel happy on your birthday," 語氣意圖

或者，「在生日這天不開心也沒關係，」

the parent might say at another point,

父母在另一個時刻可能會這樣說，

delicately upholding an infant's less typical response to certain events.

細心地維護了嬰兒對某些事件不太典型的反應。

Ideally, the child isn't just known, 文法

理想情況下，孩子不僅被了解，

he or she is also interpreted as likable.

他或她還會被解讀為討人喜歡的。

A good parent offers generous interpretations.

優秀的父母會提供寬容的解讀。

They're on the side of the child 慣用語

他們站在孩子這邊，

and are always ready to put the best possible gloss on moments of ill temper or a failure, 慣用語

並隨時準備好對那些脾氣暴躁或失敗的時刻做最好的美化，

which forms the basis 文法

從而奠定基礎，

upon which resilient self-esteem can then later emerge.

讓充滿韌性的自尊在日後得以萌發。

Now, that's the ideal, 表達脈絡

當然，那是理想情況，

but it can, of course, go very wrong and often does.

但事情往往也會大錯特錯，並且常常如此。

A parent may offer mirroring that is out of sync with the reality of the child. 片語搭配

父母提供的鏡像反饋，可能與孩子的現實脫節。

"Look, who's such a happy little boy or girl?"

「看，這是誰家快樂的小男孩或小女孩？」

a parent might insist when actually the opposite is clearly the case, 片語搭配

當事實截然相反時，父母可能會這樣堅持，

thereby badly scrambling the child's ability to connect with their own emotions. 用詞

從而嚴重擾亂了孩子與自己情緒建立聯繫的能力。

Or the parent might only lend the child a very harsh, 用詞

父母也可能只借給孩子一種非常嚴苛、

punitive way of interpreting itself,

懲罰性的方式來解讀自己，

repeatedly suggesting that the child is ill-intentioned or no good.

反覆暗示孩子居心不良或一無是處。

Or the parent may simply not show very much interest in the child,

或者，父母可能只是對孩子沒表現出太大興趣，

focusing themselves elsewhere,

把注意力集中在別處，

so that the child grows up with a feeling that not only is it not worth cherishing, 文法

導致孩子長大後不僅覺得自己不值得被珍惜，

but also because it hasn't been adequately seen and mirrored,

還會因為沒有被充分看到和鏡像反饋，

that it doesn't even quite exist.

而覺得自己甚至不曾真正存在。

A feeling of unreality is the direct consequence of emotional neglect. 片語搭配

不真實感正是情感忽視的直接後果。

Realizing that we lack a stable identity is a sobering realization,

意識到自己缺乏穩定的自我認同是一個令人清醒的認知，

but we can, with a fair wind, 慣用語

但我們只要藉著好風，

start to correct the problem at any point.

就可以隨時開始糾正這個問題。

We need to seek out the help of a wise and kindly other person, 片語動詞

我們需要尋求一位睿智而友善的他人的幫助，

perhaps a good psychotherapist,

也許是一位優秀的心理治療師，

someone who can study us closely,

一個能密切研究我們、

mirror us properly, 用詞

恰當鏡像反饋我們，

and then validate what they see.

然後對他們所見予以認可的人。

Through their eyes, 慣用語

透過他們的眼睛，

we can learn to study,

我們能夠學會探究，

perhaps for the first time,

也許是人生中的第一次，

how we really feel

去探究自己的真實感受，

and take seriously what we actually want. 片語搭配

並且認真對待自己真正的渴望。

We can,

我們可以，

by being witnessed generously, 文法

透過被寬容地見證，

more often learn to take our own sides 慣用語

更多地學會站在自己這一邊，

and feel increasingly solid inside,

感到內心越來越充實，

trusting ourselves more than we trust the crowd, 文法

相信自己勝過相信大眾，

feeling that we might be able to say no, 語氣意圖

覺得我們有能力說不，

not always swaying in the wind 慣用語

不再總是隨風搖擺，

and feeling that we are in possession 片語搭配

並且感覺到我們掌握著

of some of the ultimate important truths about us.

一些關於自己最終重要的真相。

Having come to know ourselves like this, 文法

當我們像這樣了解自己之後，

we will be a little less hungry for praise, 表達脈絡

我們對讚美的渴望就會減少一些，

a little less worried by opposition,

對反對意見的擔憂就會減輕一些，

and a lot more original in our thinking.

我們的思想也會變得更具獨創性。

We will have learned the vital art

我們將學會這項至關重要的藝術：

of both knowing and befriending who we really are. 文法

既了解真實的自己，又與真實的自己做朋友。

Our Know Yourself Cards

我們的「認識自己卡片」

can help us to better understand the deepest,

可以幫助我們更好地了解我們最深層、

most elusive aspects of ourselves.

最難以捉摸的面向。

Follow the link now to learn more.

點擊連結，了解更多。