你能成為英國君主嗎？：英語精讀講義

How to become the British monarch?

如何成為英國君主？

Historically, the crown sat upon your head mostly because you had the biggest army.

在歷史上，王冠之所以能戴在你的頭上，主要是因為你的軍隊最龐大。

When you died,

當你死後，

your eldest son kept control over that army

你的長子接管了這支軍隊，

and so the crown relocated to his head.

於是王冠便轉移到了他的頭上。

Though, of course,

當然，

someone with a bigger army could change the political landscape quite abruptly. 慣用語

如果有人擁有更龐大的軍隊，也能極其突然地改變政治版圖。

As time marched on and the world grew less violent, 慣用語

隨著時間推移，世界變得不那麼暴力，

eventually in 1701,

最終在1701年，

Parliament established a set of rules

議會制定了一套規則，

to transfer the crown from one head to another,

用來將王冠從一個人頭上轉移到另一個人頭上，

hopefully with less turmoil than before.

希望能藉此減少以往的動盪。

So, here's how the 1701 rules work. 表達脈絡

那麼，1701年的規則是這樣運作的。

First, don't be Catholic.

第一，不要是天主教徒。

The British monarch is also the head of the Church of England 文化背景

英國君主也是英國國教的領袖，

to which the monarch must convert 文法

君主必須皈依該教，

if not already a member. 文法

如果他還不是其中一員的話。

Except that if you're Catholic,

只不過如果你是天主教徒，

no crown for you. 語氣意圖

你就無緣王位了。

The history of the royal family

關於王室的歷史，

and how this rule came to be

以及這條規則是如何產生的，

is a story for another time, 片語搭配

那是另一個故事了，

but suffice it to say that bigger army diplomacy was involved. 片語搭配

但可以說，這牽涉到了「最強軍隊外交」。

And, by the way, no,

順帶一提，不行，

you can't cleverly get around this rule 片語動詞

你無法聰明地繞過這條規則，

by converting from Catholicism to something else

也就是先從天主教皈依到別的宗教，

and then to Church of England.

再皈依到英國國教。

In the eyes of the crown, 慣用語

在王室看來，

Catholicism is transitive. 用詞

天主教信仰是具有傳遞性的。

Second, don't be a bastard. 用詞

第二，不能是私生子。

Sometimes it's good to be the king,

有時候當國王固然好，

but it's never good to be the illegitimate children of the king,

但當國王的私生子絕對沒好事，

who are out of line for the crown 片語搭配

他們被排除在王位繼承順序之外，

from literally the moment of their conception.

確切地說，從他們受孕的那一刻起就是如此。

If you're related to the monarch

如果你是君主的親屬，

but are either a Catholic or a bastard or both,

但你要麼是天主教徒，要麼是私生子，或者兩者皆是，

the crown has the delightful term naturally dead 用詞

王室有一個非常「美妙」的詞——「自然死亡」，

to refer to you and your lack of right to succession.

來形容你以及你喪失了繼承權。

Third, spouses don't count. 用詞

第三，配偶不算。

While people often think of kings and queens as a pair, 文法

雖然人們通常把國王和王后看作一對，

that's not the way it works here.

但在這裡不是這麼回事。

Spouses of monarchs are known as royal consorts. 文化背景

君主的配偶被稱為王室配偶（王夫或王后）。

They may be called prince or queen,

他們可以被稱為親王或王后，

but as far as the crown is concerned, 片語搭配

但就王位而言，

they're not in line for the throne. 片語搭配

他們不在繼承順序中。

They're just the matching 23 chromosomes

他們只不過是為了生下真正的繼承人，

needed for the creation of the real heir.

而需要的另外23條匹配的染色體。

Fourth and finally,

第四，也是最後一點，

Male Primogeniture- whatever. 文化背景

男性長子繼承制——管它叫什麼。

This is the algorithm of inheritance. 慣用語

這就是繼承的演算法。

When the monarch dies or abdicates, 用詞

當君主死亡或退位時，

but usually dies,

但通常是死亡，

the crown goes to the eldest son

王位傳給長子，

who isn't naturally dead.

那個未被視為「自然死亡」的長子。

If there happens to be an elder daughter,

如果碰巧有個大女兒，

tough luck to her. 語氣意圖

那算她倒楣。

Baby brother gets the crown.

弟弟會得到王位。

It's simple enough,

這很簡單，

but there are non-obvious cases.

但也有一些不那麼明顯的情況。

Take a king with two sons. 表達脈絡

比如一個國王有兩個兒子。

If the eldest dies before the king does, 文法

如果長子死在國王之前，

obviously the crown goes to the youngest,

顯然王位會傳給較小的那個，

now oldest, brother.

即現在最年長的兄弟。

But what if the eldest son gave the king a grandson before death?

但如果長子死前給國王生了個孫子呢？

Where does the crown go then?

那王位該傳給誰？

Well, the crown basically pretends

嗯，王室基本上假裝

that everyone, except the naturally dead, is alive.

除了「自然死亡」的人之外，每個人都還活著。

So, upon the death of the king,

所以，在國王死後，

the crown goes to his eldest son,

王位傳給他的長子，

who is now sort of the king

他現在算是國王了，

who just really happens to be dead.

只是碰巧真的死了。

So, the rule kicks in again 片語動詞

於是，規則再次生效，

and the crown goes to his son,

王位傳給他的兒子，

not, as seems obvious now, his brother.

而不是現在看來理所當然的他的兄弟。

But if this 1701 rule means that eldest sons get the crown,

但是，如果這個1701年的規則意味著長子獲得王位，

how did queens ever come to be?

女王是怎麼出現的呢？

Basically, daughters were the last choice of the crown,

基本上，女兒是王位的最後選擇，

which is why there have been so few. 文法

這就是為什麼女王如此之少。

To get the crown,

要獲得王位，

a daughter had to either be the only child of the monarch 文法

女兒必須是君主的獨生女，

or the eldest child without competing brothers.

或者是沒有競爭兄弟的最年長孩子。

So, pregnant mothers must have made any daughters

所以，懷孕的母親肯定會讓那些

with queenly aspirations quite nervous.

有女王抱負的女兒們感到相當緊張。

Now, sometimes the branch of a family tree dies out, 講解

有時候，家譜上的一個分支會絕嗣，

be it from war or plague or whatever. 文法

不管是因為戰爭、瘟疫還是其他什麼原因。

So, the crown's contingency plan,

因此，王室的應急計畫是，

if it's at a dead end, 慣用語

如果走到死胡同，

is to back up one level and then apply the rules forward again, 片語動詞

就退回上一級，然後再次向前應用規則，

looking for a living head to sit upon.

尋找一個活著的腦袋來戴上王冠。

If no luck, back up again and repeat

如果運氣不好，再退回一級並重複，

and repeat until a living heir is found.

不斷重複，直到找到一個活著的繼承人。

And there will always be an heir.

而且總會有一個繼承人。

The first king of England was over a thousand years ago

英格蘭的第一任國王是一千多年前的事了，

and the mathematics of human reproduction,

而人類繁衍的數學規律，

backed up by DNA evidence, 片語動詞

在DNA證據的支持下，

reveals that just about every European alive

表明幾乎每一個活著的歐洲人

is distantly related to him.

都與他有遠親關係。

So, the crown will eventually find a way.

所以，王冠最終總能找到歸宿。

So, from the first king through the new millennium, 文法

因此，從第一位國王到新千年，

the various rules went along making monarchs,

各種規則一直在製造君主，

though with a gender biased result

儘管結果帶有性別偏見，

that nobody seemed too bothered about until 語氣意圖

但似乎沒有人太在意，直到

suddenly in 2013,

突然在2013年，

for no particular reason at all, 語氣意圖

完全沒有特別的原因，

everyone decided that the rules needed to be updated right now.

所有人都決定現在就需要更新規則。

So, Parliament and the monarchy got together

於是，議會和王室聚在一起，

and made some changes,

做了一些改變，

most notably striking the male part of rule number four. 講解

最引人注目的是刪除了第四條規則中關於男性的部分。

From 2013 on, 片語搭配

從2013年起，

the crown views all royal sons and daughters with equal favor.

王室平等對待所有王室子女。

The only thing that matters is the order of their birth. 文法

唯一重要的是他們的出生順序。

So, prior to 2013,

所以，在2013年之前，

the boy in a set of fraternal twins in development 用詞

在發育中的一對異卵雙胞胎裡的男孩

could sit back and relax, 片語搭配

可以高枕無憂，

secure that the crown would be his 用詞

確信王冠終將屬於他，

no matter what happened on delivery day. 文法

無論出生那天發生什麼。

But in the post-2013 gender equal world,

但在2013年之後的性別平等世界裡，

it's now a race for the door to win the crown. 慣用語

現在這成了一場為了贏得王冠而出生的競速賽。