我們的父母對科技超不行 - 過去與現在 第3集：英語精讀講義

The good people at Honor reached out to sponsor a piece featuring their new Honor 6X smartphone. 片語動詞

Honor的好心人聯絡我，贊助了一期以他們新款Honor 6X智慧型手機為主題的節目。

So they send it over

所以他們把手機寄給了我，

and I'm sitting there bored at a family function

我當時正無聊地坐在一個家庭聚會上，

putting the gears to the phone's dual lens camera,

把玩著這部手機的雙鏡頭相機，

Kirin 655 octa-core CPU,

麒麟655八核心處理器，

4 gigs of RAM and 3340 milliamp hour battery.

4GB記憶體和3340毫安時電池。

And I'm at my in-laws house, right?

我當時在我岳父母家，對吧？

And an argument breaks out at the Scrabble table. 片語動詞

拼字遊戲桌上突然吵了起來。

And meanwhile,

與此同時，

I'm sitting there going,

我坐在那兒心想，

"Why don't you just Google it?" 語氣意圖

「你們為什麼不直接Google一下呢？」

But it's not all bad thanks to my entire evening of eye-rolling, 表達脈絡

但這也不全是壞事，多虧了我那一整個晚上的翻白眼、

face-palming,

捂臉，

and full-body cringing,

以及全身心的尷尬，

we all get to experience this fantastic video.

我們大家才能體驗到這個絕妙的影片。

Eight of the worst ways

老一輩人讓我腦袋爆炸的

the older generation makes my head explode. 慣用語

八個最糟糕的方式。

Brought to you by the Honor 6X.

本期影片由Honor 6X贊助播出。

Number one.

第一。

My dad seems completely

我老爸似乎完全

unable to wrap his head around the fact 慣用語

無法理解

that making phone calls ain't what it used to be. 講解

現在的打電話早就不是以前那樣了。

He still, it is 2017,

他居然，現在可是2017年了，

he still tries to crank call me. 用詞

他居然還試圖給我打惡作劇電話。

Crank call me.

惡作劇電話哦。

Like I'll answer my phone and he'll start pretending to order a pizza.

比如我接起電話，他就開始假裝要點個披薩。

Or I'll call him

或者我給他打電話，

and he'll answer with some goofy accent

他會用某種滑稽的口音接聽，

trying to convince me that I got the wrong number. 片語搭配

試圖讓我相信我打錯號碼了。

Dude,

老兄，

I know it's you.

我知道是你啊。

I've had caller ID on my phone 文法

我從高中起

since I was in high school

手機上就有來電顯示了，

and I know I didn't misdial your number.

而且我知道我沒有按錯你的號碼。

Nobody dials numbers anymore.

現在根本沒人在撥號了好嗎。

Number two.

第二。

I needed to get to my grandma's new place.

我需要去我奶奶的新住處。

So I even proactively,

所以我甚至主動出擊，

like I'm ready for this,

就好像我已經準備好了似的，

I proactively structure the question like so. 片語搭配

我主動把問題組織成了這樣。

"Hey, can you give me your new address,

「嘿，能把妳的新地址給我嗎，

Gran?"

奶奶？」

And to my dismay, 片語搭配

讓我崩潰的是，

she, like every other old person on the planet,

她和這個星球上其他所有老年人一樣，

proceeds to launch into this elaborate play-by-play of the route. 講解

開始詳細解說起路線來。

"Don't go past the giant tiger,

「別走過那隻大老虎，

then uh left at the spoon-shaped rock

然後嗯在那個湯匙形的石頭那裡左轉，

and you'll see this really friendly young man watering the grass.

你會看到一個非常友好的年輕人在澆草坪。

Well well that's

哎呀呀那是

Chester, the neighbor's son-in-law.

切斯特，鄰居的女婿。

And he works at the co-op and okay.

他在合作社工作，還有……」好了。

This is not a quest, Grandma.

這不是在做任務，奶奶。

I'm not retaining any of this.

我一點都沒記住。

I'm not listening.

我根本沒在聽。

Please,

拜託，

for the love of all that is good, 慣用語

看在老天爺的份上，

tell me the address

告訴我地址，

so I can open my Maps app and key it in. 片語動詞

這樣我就可以打開我的地圖應用程式把它輸入進去了。

Number three.

第三。

Thanks to simple interfaces

多虧了簡單的介面，

like Honor's Emotion UI,

比如Honor的Emotion UI，

smartphones

智慧型手機

are getting easier and easier to use. 文法

變得越來越容易使用了。

But just because an older person learns to use the internet, 文法

但僅僅因為老年人學會了使用網路，

doesn't mean they really get how to internet. 用詞

並不意味著他們真正懂得如何上網。

And we've all suffered the consequences of this one.

我們都經歷過這種後果。

So here's a few etiquette tips.

所以這裡有一些禮儀提示。

If I don't copy paste your status update you posted,

如果我沒有複製貼上你發布的狀態更新，

it doesn't mean I'm not your true friend.

並不代表我不是你的真朋友。

That funny chain letter,

那封搞笑的連鎖信，

well,

嗯，

if the memes have eBaum's World watermarks,

如果迷因上還有eBaum's World的浮水印，

they're probably a little dated. 用詞

它們可能有點過時了。

And auntie,

還有阿姨，

thank you so much for the urgent cyber security advisory

非常感謝妳發來緊急的網路安全警告，

telling me to beware of people calling and pretending they work for Microsoft. 片語搭配

告訴我小心那些打電話假裝是微軟員工的人。

I know your heart's in the right place, 慣用語

我知道妳是好心，

but

但是，

please,

拜託了，

just oh please.

真的拜託了。

Number four.

第四。

Why is it that every time I go somewhere with my dad, 文法

為什麼每次我和我爸出去，

he's always trying to get me to memorize what section of the parking garage 文法

他總是想讓我記住我們停在停車場的哪個區，

we're in

我們在哪，

so that we don't lose the car.

這樣我們就不會把車弄丟了。

Okay,

好了，

what's the color?

什麼顏色？

Orange.

橘色。

Okay,

好了，

what's the number?

幾號？

Oh shoot, I forget.

哎呀，我忘了。

Let's go back.

我們回去吧。

Look,

聽著，

I'm way ahead of you, Dad. 慣用語

我早就想到辦法了，老爸。

Just take a picture

拍張照

and move on. 片語動詞

繼續走就行了。

It doesn't consume film anymore 文化背景

這不再浪費底片了，

and we don't have to wait for it to get developed.

我們也不用等它沖洗出來。

Number five.

第五。

You convinced your mother-in-law to get a cell phone, 文法

你說服你的岳母買了一部手機，

but she refuses to get cellular data

但她拒絕使用行動數據，

because it's expensive

因為那很貴，

and Lisa needs braces. 文化背景

而且麗莎需要戴牙套。

Well,

好吧，

you know what I have to say to that?

你知道我要對此說什麼嗎？

Data plan.

行動數據方案。

It's like $10 a month.

大概一個月10美元。

Less on Ting.

在Ting上甚至更便宜。

And you know what else is expensive?

那你知道還有什麼很貴嗎？

Getting lost two blocks from your grandson's birthday party 文法

在離你孫子生日派對兩個街區的地方迷路，

and spending 15 minutes on the phone with me trying to figure out where the heck you are, 講解

花15分鐘在電話裡跟我試圖搞清楚你到底在哪裡，

which way is west,

哪邊是西，

and which auto wrecker to drive towards to get back on the right path.

還有該朝哪個汽車報廢廠開才能回到正確的路線上。

You aren't even supposed to be on the phone when you're driving. 文法

你開車的時候甚至都不應該打電話。

Number six.

第六。

My dad knows how to text me.

我爸知道怎麼給我發簡訊。

He even sends instant messages

他甚至透過Hangouts發送即時訊息

and pictures over Hangouts.

和照片。

But he doesn't seem to grasp

但他似乎無法理解

the added utility that these modern mediums have over snail mail. 慣用語

這些現代媒介比平信更多的附加效用。

So every three to five days,

所以每三到五天，

he sends me an epic wall of text 慣用語

他都會發給我一大段文字，

with where he's staying,

講述他住在哪裡，

the recent weather,

最近的天氣，

best wishes for the kids,

對孩子們的祝福，

and then he signs his name at the bottom.

然後他在底部簽上他的名字。

And I'm like, 表達脈絡

我的反應是，

"Pops, it's instant messaging.

「老爸，這是即時通訊。

I can reply to it right away.

我可以立刻回覆它。

You can reply right away

你也可以立刻回覆，

and we can have a conversation.

我們就能交談了。

Do your relatives ever send you snail mail

你的親戚有沒有給你寄過平信，

and then text you to tell you to expect it?

然後發簡訊告訴你留意查收？

Why did you

你為什麼要……」

Number seven.

第七。

My auntie still brings her digital point-and-shoot 用詞

我阿姨依然帶著她那數位相機，

that runs on double A batteries 片語搭配

用3號電池的那種，

to family functions

參加家庭聚會，

even though the camera on her phone

儘管她手機上的相機

is way better, 用詞

要好得多，

way easier to use,

也容易用得多，

and easy to share pictures with.

而且分享照片也很方便。

It just seems like it's hard 文法

似乎很難

for some older people to internalize

讓某些老年人從心底認識到

just how many single-use devices modern phones have replaced. 文法

現代手機已經取代了多少單一用途的設備。

I mean,

我是說，

what's next?

下一步是什麼？

A calculator at the restaurant

去餐廳帶個計算機

to split the bill? 片語搭配

來平分帳單嗎？

Damn it, Vern,

見鬼，弗恩，

there is an app for that. 文化背景

早就有這應用程式了。

And finally,

最後，

number eight,

第八，

right next to the landline phone at my grandparents' house,

就在我祖父母家的市話旁邊，

is a wall power adapter for the cell phone

有一個手機用的牆插電源轉接器，

that lives in the wall 慣用語

它長在牆上，

with the phone next to it

手機就放在它旁邊

plugged in

插著電，

100% of the time when they're at home.

只要他們在家裡，100%的時間都插著電。

Sometimes,

有時，

I even see them stand there 文法

我甚至看到他們站在那兒

while they're talking on it.

邊充電邊打電話。

Do you realize that modern phones like this one

你們知道嗎，像這樣的現代手機

can last for like two days before they die? 慣用語

可以在沒電前撐上大概兩天？

Why not just plug it in when you go to bed? 講解

為什麼不睡覺的時候再充電呢？

Well,

「好吧，

that way I always know where it is. 表達脈絡

這樣我隨時都能知道它在哪兒。」

You don't go anywhere, Lynn.

妳哪兒都不去，林恩。

Just keep it in your pocket

只要把它放在口袋裡，

and that way you'll know where it is

這樣妳就能知道它在哪兒了，

and you'll actually be safer

而且實際上妳也會更安全，

in the event of a nasty fall or a freak accident with a knitting needle or whatever. 片語搭配

萬一重重摔了一跤，或者被織毛衣的針戳到出了什麼意外事故之類的。

So

所以

thanks to Honor

感謝Honor

for sponsoring this list of ways that people are bound to misuse their awesome technology. 文法

贊助了這個關於人們注定會濫用出色科技的清單。

You can check out the link to where to buy the Honor 6X in the video description. 片語動詞

你們可以在影片描述中查看在哪裡購買Honor 6X的連結。

And while you're down there, 表達脈絡

既然你都滑到下面了，

drop your favorite my family sucks at tech stories in the comments below 用詞

就在下方評論區留下你最喜歡的「我家人用不來科技」的故事吧，

and maybe you'll see them featured in a future episode. 文法

也許你會看到它們出現在未來的節目中。

Thank you so much for watching.

非常感謝觀看。