「我愛你，但我認為我們不應該在一起」：英語精讀講義

We tend to assume that anyone who tells us that they love us, 片語搭配

我們往往會認為，任何告訴我們他愛我們，

but simultaneously insists that they don't believe we should be together, 表達脈絡

卻同時堅稱覺得我們不該在一起的人，

is lying.

是在說謊。

If love is sincere,

如果愛是真誠的，

of course it won't stop at any obstacles, however large.

當然不會因為任何障礙而卻步，無論障礙有多大。

You either love a person 文法

你要么愛一個人

and then will fight till the end to be with them, 慣用語

然後為了和對方在一起而奮戰到底，

or you don't love them and will walk away. 片語動詞

要么你不愛對方並選擇離開。

There isn't, there can't be any third category

不存在，也不可能有第三種情況，

that isn't just a deceit.

除非那只是個騙局。

Underneath this uncompromising stance 文法

在這種毫不妥協的立場之下，

lies an ideology of romanticism

隱藏著一種浪漫主義的意識形態，

that insists that true love has nothing to do with practicalities. 片語搭配

堅稱真愛與現實毫無關係。

The romantic novelist D.H. Lawrence captured this absolutist view 片語搭配

浪漫主義小說家 D.H. 勞倫斯捕捉到了這種絕對主義的觀點，

when he wrote,

他曾寫道：

"A man in love will sleep for the rest of his life

「一個墜入愛河的男人會為了他愛的女人

on a park bench for a woman he loves."

在公園長椅上睡一輩子。」

And so, by extension, 表達脈絡

因此，推而廣之，

if there are children from another relationship,

如果對方有前一段感情留下的孩子，

if there's no money,

如果沒有錢，

if one of the parties lives abroad,

如果其中一方住在國外，

if someone has a mental illness,

如果有人患有精神疾病，

if there are cultural differences,

如果存在文化差異，

if long-term goals point in contrasting directions,

如果長遠目標南轅北轍，

there will always be a way for love to succeed. 文法

愛情總是會有辦法取得成功。

But there is another philosophy at large, 慣用語

但普遍存在的還有另一種哲學，

more restrained and less esteemed,

更為克制，也不那麼受人推崇，

that balances a respect for emotions 片語搭配

它在尊重情感的同時

with an equal respect for the practical dimensions of life.

也同樣尊重生活的實際層面。

This philosophy knows

這種哲學明白，

that however tender and sympathetic our feelings may be, 文法

無論我們的感情有多麼溫柔和富有同情心，

they cannot entirely mitigate or erase the impact of social ostracism, 講解

它們都無法完全減輕或消除社會排斥、

opposed friendship groups,

對立的朋友圈、

clashing values,

衝突的價值觀、

ongoing distance,

持續的遠距離、

incongruous life stages,

不一致的人生階段、

continuous alarm,

不斷的擔憂，

or park benches.

或者是睡公園長椅所帶來的影響。

If we understand love 文法

如果我們把愛理解為

as ultimately focused on the care and nurture of another person,

最終聚焦於對另一個人的關懷與滋養，

should we continue to label as loving

我們是否應該繼續將這樣一種關係貼上愛的標籤：

a relationship that necessarily mires our partner 片語搭配

這種關係必然會使我們的伴侶陷入

in a succession of avoidable miseries?

一連串本可避免的痛苦之中？

Are we so uniquely fitted to be with them 文法

我們真的就那麼適合與他們在一起，

as to justify the suffering our presence entails?

以至於能證明我們的存在所帶來的痛苦是合理的嗎？

Might our so-called love for them 用詞

我們對他們所謂的愛，

not in the end have more to do with our satisfaction 文法

到底是因為我們自己的滿足，

than their fulfillment?

還是為了他們的幸福呢？

There are, of course,

當然，有這樣的人：

liars who will dress up their escapes 片語動詞

他們是騙子，會把自己的逃避行為

as acts of generosity,

偽裝成慷慨之舉，

but there are as many true lovers

但同樣也有很多真正的愛人，

who quietly sacrifice themselves 慣用語

默默地犧牲了自己，

on unheralded altars of resignation.

將自己獻上無人知曉的隱忍祭壇。

It's hugely honorable and very moving

拼盡全力去和某個人在一起，

to do one's utmost to be with someone, 片語搭配

是一件極度高尚且非常感人的事，

but it may be greater love still 表達脈絡

但也許還有一種更偉大的愛，

to adore a person and then,

那就是深愛著一個人，然後，

before wasting any more of their time,

在浪費他們更多的時間之前，

to leave them well alone. 慣用語

徹底放手，互不打擾。