金童症候群：英語精讀講義

We are used to thinking of many of the psychological problems of adulthood as stemming from a lack of adequate love in our early years. 講解

我們習慣於認為成年後的許多心理問題都源於早年缺乏足夠的愛。

We grow mentally unwell,

我們在心理上變得不健康，

prey to underconfidence, 慣用語

淪為缺乏自信、

anxiety, paranoia,

焦慮、偏執

and shame because somewhere in the past

和羞恥感的犧牲品，因為在過去的某個時刻，

we were denied the necessary warmth,

我們未能得到必要的溫暖、

care, and sympathy.

關懷與同理。

But there is another,

但還有另一個、

more curious and more subtle problem

更奇特也更微妙的問題

that may arise from childhood years.

可能在童年時期產生。

What we can term the golden child syndrome. 用詞

我們可以稱之為「黃金兒童症候群」。

We may wind up mentally unwell, 片語動詞

我們在心理上可能會變得不健康，

not so much because we were ignored or maltreated, 文法

倒不是因為我們被忽視或虐待，

but because we were loved with a distinctive and troubling overintensity.

而是因為我們被一種獨特且令人不安的過度強烈的愛所包圍。

Because we were praised for capacities

因為我們受到了讚美，而這些讚美所針對的能力

that we did not possess and could not identify with, 片語動詞

我們並不具備也無法認同；

and because we were asked,

也因為我們被要求——

with apparent kindness, 表達脈絡

帶著表面上的善意，

but underlying unwitting manipulation,

實則隱藏著無意的操縱——

to shoulder the hopes and longings of our carers 慣用語

去肩負照顧者的希望和渴望，

rather than of our own deep selves.

而不是我們自己內心深處的期盼。

There are childhoods where,

在某些童年經歷中，

upon arrival,

剛一降生，

the infant is quickly described by one or more of its parents 文法

嬰兒就很快被父母中的一方或雙方描述為

as profoundly exceptional.

極其非凡的人。

It is grandly declared uncommonly beautiful,

他被隆重地宣告為異常美麗、

intelligent, talented,

聰明、有天賦，

and resolutely set for a special destiny. 片語搭配

並被斷言註定要擁有特殊的命運。

Not for this child the ordinary sorrows and stumblings 表達脈絡

這個孩子絕不會經歷那些普通的悲傷與跌倒，

of an average life.

那些平凡生活中的常態。

While perhaps still no taller than a chair, 文法

也許身高還不及一把椅子，

the offspring is firmly described as a figure

這個孩子就被堅定地描述為一個

whose name will reverberate down the centuries. 慣用語

名字將流芳百世的人物。

On the surface, 表達脈絡

表面上看，

this could seem to offer a route to enormous self-confidence and security.

這似乎提供了一條通往巨大自信與安全感的途徑。

But to place such expectations on someone 片語搭配

但是，把如此之高的期望寄託在一個

who still struggles with their coat buttons

還在為扣大衣釦子而掙扎的人身上，

can, paradoxically,

矛盾的是，

leave a child feeling hollow and particularly incapable. 文法

可能會讓孩子感到空虛並覺得自己格外無能。

Unable to sense any resources within itself 文法

由於無法從自己身上感受到任何資源

to honor the hopes of those it loves and depends on,

來兌現那些他所愛和依賴的人的期望，

the child grows up with a latent sense 用詞

孩子在成長過程中會帶著一種潛在的

of fraudulence and a consistent fear

欺詐感，並始終害怕

that it will be unmasked. 慣用語

自己的真面目會被揭穿。

It winds up at once grandly expecting

結果，他一方面自負地期望著

that others will recognize its sensational destiny

別人能認出他那轟動世界的命運，

and entirely unsure as to why or how 片語搭配

另一方面又完全不確定為什麼或者如何

they might in fact do so.

別人真的會這麼做。

The golden child cannot shake off a sense 片語動詞

「黃金兒童」無法擺脫一種感覺：

that it's very special and yet can't identify

覺得自己很特別，卻又無法在自己身上找到

within itself any real grounds

任何真正的根據

why it should be so.

來證明為什麼自己應當如此。

Its underlying longing is not to revolutionize nations

他潛在的渴望並不是去掀起國家的革命

and be honored across the ages.

並名垂千古。

It is to be accepted and loved 片語搭配

而是希望被接納、被愛，

for who it is

僅僅為了他的本來面目，

in all its often unimpressive and faltering realities.

在他所有那些往往不起眼甚至踉蹌的現實中。

It wishes, as we all do,

他希望，正如我們所有人所希望的那樣，

to be seen and accepted for itself,

因其本真的面目被看到和接納，

to have its faults and frailties forgiven

他的缺點和脆弱能被原諒

and acknowledged rather than denied or glossed over. 片語動詞

與承認，而不是被否認或掩飾。

It is, in the end,

說到底，

as much of an insult to one's authentic reality 文法

這對一個人的真實自我來說，

and as psychologically painful

是一種同等程度的侮辱，在心理上也是同等痛苦的：

to be praised for great things

因偉大的事蹟而受到讚美，

one hasn't done and could never do

而這些事一個人未曾做過也永遠做不到，

as to be attacked and blamed

這就好比遭到攻擊和責備，

for sins one is innocent of. 片語搭配

為一個本是無辜的罪名買單一樣。

The phenomenon suggests that true love

這種現象表明，真正的愛

should involve an agnosticism around a child's eventual level of worldly success. 用詞

應該對孩子最終能否在世俗層面上取得成功持不可知論態度。

It should ideally not matter to the parent

理想情況下，父母不應該在意

where a child ends up, 片語動詞

孩子最終會有怎樣的結局，

or rather, it should matter only

或者說，父母的在意程度

in so far as, and no further than, 文法

應該僅僅與孩子在意的程度一致，

it matters to the child.

絕不越界。

Parents who see their child in golden terms 慣用語

把孩子視為「黃金兒童」的父母

are not, of course, consciously cruel. 語氣意圖

當然不是有意要那麼殘忍。

They are merely, with tragic fervor,

他們只是帶著悲劇般的熱情，

misdirecting energies that have failed to find a better destination. 慣用語

錯用了一直未能找到更好去處的精力。

The child covertly being asked to redeem 用詞

孩子在暗中被要求去挽救

a career that did not go as expected,

一段未如預期的職業生涯、

a depressed mood that did not lift, 慣用語

一種揮之不去的憂鬱情緒，

or a marriage that proved unusually intolerable. 文法

或是一段極其令人難以忍受的婚姻。

The golden child is, over time,

隨著時間的推移，這個「黃金兒童」

destined for a moment of breakdown 片語搭配

必然會迎來崩潰的時刻，

when the hopes invested in it fail to be realized. 慣用語

當寄託在他身上的希望未能實現時。

The golden future will,

那個黃金般的未來，

it starts to be clear,

事情開始變得清晰，

never materialize. 用詞

將永遠不會成為現實。

But a bigger prize awaits, 慣用語

但一個更大的獎賞在等待著，

a feeling of liberation from expectations 片語搭配

那是一種從期望中解脫的自由感，

that were always disconnected from reality.

這些期望往往與現實脫節。

The golden child is freed to enjoy a momentous truth

「黃金兒童」得以自由地享受一個重大的真理：

that a life does not need to be golden 講解

人生並不需要光芒萬丈

in order to be valuable.

才能有價值。

That we can live in baser metal forms, 慣用語

我們可以以普通金屬的形態生活，

in pewter or iron,

比如白鑞或廢鐵，

and still be worthy of love and adequate self-esteem. 片語搭配

但依然值得被愛，並擁有充足的自尊。

And, even though this has nothing to do 片語搭配

而且，儘管這與

with the original expectations one was asked to shoulder,

最初被要求肩負的期望毫無關係，

that realization will be the truly exceptional achievement. 表達脈絡

但這種感悟將是真正非凡的成就。

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