5個發現情緒不成熟的特徵：英語精讀講義

We've just launched a special membership to our YouTube channel.

我們剛剛在YouTube頻道推出了特別會員服務。

Sign up today for a host of unique benefits,

今天註冊即可享受一系列專屬福利，

including monthly discount codes for our online shop,

包括我們線上商店的每月折扣碼，

custom wallpapers, badges and emojis,

自訂桌布、徽章和表情符號，

as well as an exclusive chance to vote on topics for future films you'd like us to make.

以及對您希望我們未來製作的影片主題進行投票的獨家機會。

The best thing about physical maturity is that it's very easy to spot. 用詞

身體成熟最大的好處就是很容易被看出來。

We can so easily tell when someone has another decade of growth to go 文法

我們很容易看出一個人是否還需要十年的成長，

and can therefore set our expectations and our levels of forbearance accordingly. 片語搭配

並因此相應地調整我們的期望和包容度。

But we have no such luxury when it comes to emotional maturity. 片語搭配

但在情感成熟度方面，我們可沒有這種便利。

Here we can be constantly surprised by whom we have on our hands. 慣用語

在這裡，我們總是會對眼前的人感到驚訝。

The most stunning forms of immaturity can coexist with all the trappings of adult life and a confident and knowledgeable manner. 用詞

最令人咋舌的不成熟形態，竟然能與成年生活的所有表象、自信而博學的舉止並存。

It may be a long time into a love affair or a working relationship

也許在一段戀愛關係或工作關係持續了很長時間後，

before we realize that we are unwittingly dealing with an emotional infant. 慣用語

我們才意識到自己在不知不覺中面對的是一個‘情感巨嬰’。

It pays, therefore, to try to arrive at a few general guidelines 文法

因此，嘗試總結出一些大致的指導原則是值得的，

for how an emotionally immature person can be spotted

看看如何辨別情感不成熟的人，

and, if necessary, escaped from very fast.

並在必要時迅速脫身。

Here are some of the lines that emotionally immature people have a tendency to come out with in conversation 片語搭配

以下是情感不成熟的人在談話中往往會說出的一些話，

and that should, at the very least, 慣用語

而這些話至少應該，

set alarm bells ringing loudly.

讓你在心裡敲響響亮的警鐘。

I'm not so good at spending time on my own.

我不太擅長獨處。

What separates the mature from the immature is perhaps more than anything else, 文法

成熟與不成熟的區別，也許比其他任何東西都更在於，

a capacity for being on their own, without distraction 片語搭配

能夠在沒有干擾的情況下獨處，

and thinking about who they are and what they've experienced.

並思考他們是誰以及經歷了什麼。

The mature person can allow themselves to examine and, as it were, feel their own feelings, 表達脈絡

成熟的人可以允許自己審視、可以說是感受自己的感受，

even when these are very difficult and hugely unwelcome.

即使這些感受非常艱難且極不受歡迎。

They can stomach an encounter with their own rage, 用詞

他們能忍受面對自己的憤怒、

their own envy, their own shame.

自己的嫉妒、自己的羞恥。

They don't have to do what the immature person is constantly compelled to do, 用詞

他們不必做那些不成熟的人不斷被迫去做的事，

find someone or something else to prevent them from any risk of understanding their own mind. 文法

即找人或找事來阻止他們冒著理解自己內心的風險。

I don't really remember much about my childhood.

我對我的童年不太記得了。

There are very few childhoods in which difficult things didn't unfold. 文法

極少有人的童年沒有發生過一些困難的事情。

Without anyone meaning for this to happen, with the best intentions, 片語搭配

沒有人有意讓這種事發生，雖然初衷是好的，

children's development gets impeded and bruised. 慣用語

但孩子的發展還是會受到阻礙和傷害。

What counts, therefore, isn't that someone had a happy childhood. 文法

因此，關鍵不在於一個人是否有一個快樂的童年。

Almost no one on the planet did entirely, but that a person should have a calm and insightful view

地球上幾乎沒有人能擁有完全快樂的童年，但一個人應該以一種平靜和深刻的視角

of what their childhood was actually like in its good and bad aspects.

來看看他們童年真實的優缺點。

An inability to remember much about the past doesn't indicate that it was idyllic or just a long time ago,

記不清過去的事情，並不意味著過去是田園詩般的，或者僅僅是因為年代久遠，

just that it hasn't begun to be processed 用詞

這只意味著過去的事情還沒有開始被消化，

and that is a red flag. 慣用語

而這是一個危險的信號。

I've never really thought about that before.

我以前從來沒真正想過這個。

Emotionally immature people have great difficulties with conversations

情感不成熟的人在應對某些對話時會有很大困難，

that require them to draw on a knowledge of their own enthusiasms, 片語動詞

這些對話需要他們調動對自己熱愛的、

sorrows, projects and histories.

悲傷的、計畫的和過去的事情的了解。

So, as one sits with them over a drink and asks, for example,

因此，當你和他們坐在一起喝杯酒並問，比如，

why their last relationship broke up 片語動詞

上一段感情為什麼破裂，

or what meaningful work constitutes for them

或者對他們來說有意義的工作是什麼，

or what they regret most from their childhood,

又或者他們對自己童年最遺憾的是什麼時，

one has an above-average chance of hearing, perhaps quite sweetly, 片語搭配

你有高於常人的機率聽到，也許語氣還很甜美，

a reply along the lines that this is all too new 片語搭配

類似於‘這一切太新了’的回答，

and that they've never thought about this before.

以及他們以前從未想過這些。

It isn't that the emotionally immature person is being cagey. 講解

這並不是說情感不成熟的人在閃爍其詞。

They simply haven't properly inhabited, in its authentic pain and intensity, 慣用語

他們只是沒有真正地、以其真實的痛苦和強度去體驗，

the life that they are actually leading.

他們實際上正在過的生活。

Everything is pretty good.

一切都挺好的。

It's fine.

挺好的。

All is fine.

一切都好。

It would be churlish to begrudge anyone a good mood. 用詞

嫉妒別人的好心情未免顯得脾氣暴躁。

Nevertheless, the emotionally immature person isn't often just in a good mood.

然而，情感不成熟的人往往並不只是心情好。

They are rigidly unable to enter a bad one. 慣用語

他們是死板地無法進入壞情緒。

Everything is declared fine.

所有事情都被宣佈為‘挺好的’。

Their parents, job, love affair, sex life, ambitions,

他們的父母、工作、戀愛、性生活、抱負，

because they have no resources for coping with anything 片語搭配

因為他們沒有資源來應對任何

that might be more nuanced and more real,

可能更微妙、更真實的事情，

that might entail anger, loss, confusion or wayward desires.

任何可能涉及憤怒、失去、困惑或任性慾望的事情。

One comes away from a dialogue with such a person 片語動詞

一個人在結束與這樣的人的對話後，

disoriented and lonely at the idea

會對這世上竟然有如此歡快而單一的生活，

that any life could be quite so cheerily one-dimensional. 用詞

感到迷茫和孤獨。

It isn't, that's just the way that the emotionally immature person is processing things.

並不是這樣，這只是情感不成熟的人處理事情的方式。

That's just a load of old psychobabble. 用詞

那都是些老掉牙的心理學術語。

As soon as a conversation threatens their emotional integrity, 文法

一旦對話威脅到了他們的情感完整性，

the emotionally immature person will shut it down. 片語動詞

情感不成熟的人就會立刻終止對話。

The imperious verdict that it is a piece of overcomplicated nonsense.

他們專橫地斷定那是一堆被弄得過於複雜的廢話。

They appeal to an idea of robust simplicity instead, 片語搭配

相反，他們呼籲一種簡單粗暴的理念，

as though the origins of all our problems might lie in thinking too much. 文法

彷彿我們所有問題的根源都在於想得太多。

It's the sort of attitude that might lead them to recommend

這種態度可能會讓他們去建議，

that an anxious person pull themselves together 慣用語

焦慮的人要振作起來，

or to claim that a lot of mental distress comes from not getting out enough.

或者聲稱許多精神上的痛苦是因為沒多出去走走。

But of course, none of this stems from confidence. 片語動詞

但當然，這些都不源於自信。

It's a terrified way of blocking one's ears and saying no 慣用語

這是一種恐懼的、摀住耳朵說‘不’的方式，

to truths and ideas that might hurt very much.

拒絕那些可能會非常傷人的真相和想法。

Emotionally immature people can be extremely charming

情感不成熟的人可能非常有魅力，

and at points entertaining to be around,

有時和他們在一起也很有趣，

but as a general rule, we would advise you to give them 講解

但作為一般原則，我們建議你對他們

a very wide berth indeed

敬而遠之，

and aim to check in on them in about a decade or two. 片語動詞

並打算在一二十年後再去看看他們怎麼樣了。

Life is, in the end, far too short, 文法

生命終究太短暫、

far too interesting and far too lonely

太有趣、太孤獨，

to spend very long around people who lack any interest

不值得花太長時間和那些缺乏任何興趣

in trying to be,

去嘗試成為，

where it counts, emotional grown-ups. 表達脈絡

哪怕是關鍵時刻的情感成熟者的人在一起。

We've just launched a special membership to our YouTube channel.

我們剛剛在YouTube頻道推出了特別會員服務。

Sign up today for a host of unique benefits.

今天註冊即可享受一系列專屬福利。