對「床上表現不佳」的恐懼：英語精讀講義

At moments of low self-esteem, it can be hard to avoid the fear that we may,

在自尊心低落的時刻，我們很難不產生這樣一種恐懼：

and this might explain certain relationship hiccups, 慣用語

這或許也解釋了某些戀愛關係中的小摩擦，

be really quite bad in bed. 慣用語

也就是我們在床上表現得真的很差。

Three anxieties tend to predominate,

通常會有三種主要的焦慮：

that our bodies are not attractive enough,

我們的身體不夠有吸引力，

that we don't practice or know about certain positions,

我們沒有練習過或不知道某些體位，

and that we tire too easily.

以及我們太容易疲憊。

These fears reflect an underlying view 片語搭配

這些恐懼反映了一種潛在的觀點，

that sex is predominantly an athletic or aerobic activity,

即性主要是一項運動或有氧活動，

and that therefore good sex must hinge on a capacity 片語動詞

因此高品質的性生活必然取決於

to flex our bodies optimally.

身體達到最佳柔軟度與靈活性的能力。

But this risks misunderstanding 文法

但這種想法可能會讓我們誤解

what lies at the core of eroticism. 慣用語

性感與情慾的核心究竟是什麼。

For though sex traditionally makes use of our bodies,

因為儘管傳統上性愛需要運用我們的身體，

sexual pleasure may more accurately be thought of 文法

但性愉悅或許可以更準確地被看作

as stemming from certain maneuvers of the mind. 片語動詞

是源自於心智的某種運作。

As new technology is showing us,

正如新技術向我們展示的那樣，

it's quite possible for two people to generate extraordinary eroticism

兩個人完全有可能產生非凡的情慾，

while their bodies are a continent or more apart. 慣用語

即使他們的身體相隔一整個大洲甚至更遠。

That's because eroticism is, in truth,

這是因為情慾實際上

about something else entirely, ideas.

完全是另一回事——它關乎思想。

Being a good lover is first and foremost 片語搭配

成為一個優秀的伴侶，首先而且最重要的是

a skill of the mind.

一種心智上的技巧。

Sex grows pleasurable the more it functions as a release 文法

性愛越是能作為一種釋放，它就越令人愉悅，

from a great many of the ideas of what is normal 片語搭配

釋放掉許多關於何謂「正常」的觀念，

that dominate in non-sexual life.

那些在非性生活中佔據主導地位的觀念。

Good sex allows us to admit to and share

高品質的性生活讓我們得以承認並分享

a maximal amount of what we must normally keep hidden.

絕大多數通常必須隱藏起來的東西。

In good sex, we will, for example,

在美妙的性愛中，例如，我們將會

be allowed to show that

被允許展現出，

we're more interested in controlling and dominating someone

自己對控制和支配他人的興趣

than we normally let on, 片語動詞

其實比我們平時表露的要濃厚得多，

or conversely, that we're very keen to submit 講解

或者反過來說，我們非常渴望屈從

and be entirely weak.

並展現出完全柔弱的一面。

We might want to subvert the hierarchies of normal life 用詞

我們可能想要顛覆日常生活中的階級制度，

by exploring scenarios of pilots and cabin attendants,

去探索飛行員與空服員、

professors and students, patients and doctors.

教授與學生、病患與醫生的角色扮演。

We might confess that, though monogamous by nature,

我們可能會坦白，雖然本性上是一夫一妻制的擁護者，

the idea of other people watching us or joining us

但有人旁觀或加入我們的想法

excites us really rather a lot. 用詞

實際上非常讓我們興奮。

Or we may reveal that our erotic interests don't actually,

又或者我們會透露，我們的情慾興趣其實並非

as they're meant to, circle exclusively around genitals, 講解

像理所當然的那樣完全圍繞生殖器轉，

that we're really pretty interested in more incidental things

而是對那些看似不相干的地方非常感興趣，

like wrists or the back of necks,

比如手腕或後頸，

or indeed shoes or tights. 表達脈絡

甚至是鞋子或褲襪。

We might be brave enough to challenge the normal chronological rules, 文法

我們或許有勇氣挑戰常規的時間節奏，

revealing that we'd like to spend a hugely long time

坦言我們想花上非常長的時間

with our clothes still on,

穿著衣服親熱，

or indeed rush straight in without decorum. 講解

又或者是不顧任何禮節直奔主題。

Sexiness is the excitement of feeling released

性感，是一種因感受到釋放而產生的興奮感，

from the restrictive taboos of the rest of our lives,

從我們生活其餘部分的束縛和禁忌中掙脫出來。

It's a safe, mutually caring place

它是一個安全的、彼此關懷的空間，

where we can take someone else 慣用語

在這裡，我們可以把另一個人

into the not entirely responsible,

帶入我們那不完全負責任、

somewhat cruel and mad sides of us.

甚至有些殘忍和瘋狂的一面。

That someone gives us permission to do this, 片語搭配

而那個人允許我們這樣做，

that is at the core of what sexiness is.

這正是性感的核心所在。

The person who is good in bed,

因此，所謂在床上表現好的人，

therefore, isn't the one who knows how to 表達脈絡

並不是那個懂得如何

articulate themselves rhythmically for extended periods. 用詞

長時間跟著節奏扭動身體的人。

It's the person who encourages, endorses, and legitimates 用詞

而是那個鼓勵、認可並使得

our secret lonely selves,

我們隱秘而孤獨的自我變得合理化的人，

at the same time as being very aware of 文法

同時，他們也非常清楚地知道

and honest about their own private wishes and enthusiasms.

並且誠實面對自己私密的願望與熱情。

It's about a mutual nakedness of the mind, 慣用語

這關乎彼此精神上的坦誠相見，

made possible through trust. 片語搭配

而正是信任讓這一切成為可能。