友誼的意義：英語精讀講義

Friendship should be one of the high points of existence, 片語搭配

友誼本應是生命中的高光時刻之一，

and yet it's also the most routinely disappointing thing we have to deal with. 片語動詞

然而它卻也是我們日常不得不面對的最令人失望的事情。

Too often, you're at supper at someone's house.

很多時候，你在某人家裡吃晚餐。

There's an impressive spread and the hosts have evidently gone to a lot of trouble, 片語搭配

菜餚很豐盛，主人們顯然費了不少心思，

but the conversation is meandering and devoid of any real interest. 用詞

但談話卻漫無目的，毫無真正的趣味可言。

It flits from an overlong description of the failings of the in-flight service on a particular airline 片語搭配

話題從冗長地抱怨某家航空公司的機上服務很差，

to a strangely heated discussion about the tax code.

一下子跳到對稅法莫名其妙的激烈討論。

The intentions of the hosts are hugely touching,

主人們的心意極其感人，

but as so often, we go home wondering what on earth the whole performance was really about. 語氣意圖

但往往，我們在回家路上會納悶這齣戲到底是為了什麼。

The key to the problem of friendship is to be found in an odd-sounding place, 文法

解決友誼問題的關鍵在一個聽起來有些奇怪的地方，

a lack of a sense of purpose.

那就是缺乏目標感。

Our attempts at friendship tend to go adrift because we collectively resist the task of developing a clear picture of what friendship might really be for. 講解

我們結交朋友的嘗試往往會偏離方向，因為我們都在抗拒去清晰勾勒友誼到底可以為了什麼。

The problem is that we're unfairly uncomfortable with the idea of friendship having any declared purpose

問題在於，一想到友誼有任何明確的目的，我們就會感到不舒服，這其實有失公允，

because we associate purpose with the least attractive and most cynical of motives. 片語搭配

因為我們把目的與最不討喜、最憤世嫉俗的動機聯繫在一起。

Yet purpose doesn't have to ruin friendship, 文法

然而，目的並不一定會毀掉友誼，

and in fact, the more we define what a friendship might be for, 文法

事實上，我們越是明確友誼的目的，

the more we can focus in on what we should be doing with every person in our lives, 片語動詞

我們就越能把注意力集中在應該和生活裡的每個人做些什麼，

or indeed, the more we can helpfully conclude that we shouldn't be with them at all. 片語搭配

甚至越能有益地得出結論：我們根本不該和他們在一起。

There are at least four things we might be trying to do with the people we know.

我們想和認識的人一起做的事情至少有四件。

Firstly,

首先，

networking.

拓展人脈。

It's an unfairly maligned idea. 用詞

這是一個被不公正地誹謗的概念。

We're small,

我們只是廣闊世界中弱小、

fragile creatures in a vast world.

脆弱的生物。

Our individual capacities are entirely insufficient to realize the demands of our imaginations.

我們的個人能力完全不足以實現想像力的需求。

So, of course,

所以，毫無疑問，

we need collaborators,

我們需要合作者，

accomplices who can align their abilities and energies with ours. 片語搭配

需要能與我們的能力和精力相契合的同夥。

This idea of friendship was given a lot of space in classical literature.

這種友誼的理念在古典文學中佔據了很大的篇幅。

Take the Argonauts, 文化背景

以《阿爾戈英雄》為例，

the legendary ancient Greek tale,

這個古希臘傳奇故事，

which traced how a heroic captain called Jason networked in order to assemble a band of friends to sail on the Argo

追溯了一位名叫伊阿宋的英雄船長如何透過建立人脈，召集了一幫朋友乘坐阿爾戈號航行，

in search of the Golden Fleece.

尋找金羊毛。

Later,

後來，

the same idea re-emerged when Jesus networked to put together a band of 12 disciples 文化背景

同樣的想法再次出現，耶穌透過建立人脈召集了12名門徒，

with whom he could spread one or two world-changing ideas about forgiveness and compassion.

與他們一起傳播關於寬恕和同情的一兩個足以改變世界的思想。

Rather than diminish our own efforts as we hand out our business cards, 文法

我們不應在遞出名片時看輕自己的努力，

such prestigious examples can show how elevated and ambitious networking friendships could, 表達脈絡

這樣久負盛名的例子能表明，旨在拓展人脈的友誼在理想狀態下，

ideally, be.

可以是多麼高尚和雄心勃勃。

Secondly,

第二，

reassurance.

尋求慰藉。

The human condition is full of terror.

人類的生存狀態充滿了恐懼。

We're always on the verge of disgrace, 片語搭配

我們總是處於蒙羞、

danger, and disappointment.

危險和失望的邊緣。

And yet,

然而，

such are the rules of polite conduct that we're permanently in danger of imagining that we are the only ones to be as crazy as we know we are. 文法

禮節的規則使我們永遠處於一種危險中，即以為只有我們自己才像我們所知的那樣瘋狂。

We badly need friends because with the people we know only superficially,

我們極其需要朋友，因為對於那些只是泛泛之交的人，

there are few confessions of sexual compulsion or of regret,

我們很少會向他們坦白自己的性衝動或是悔恨、

rage, and confusion.

憤怒和迷惘。

These superficial acquaintances refuse to admit that they too are going slightly out of their minds. 慣用語

這些泛泛之交拒絕承認他們也快要發瘋了。

Yet the reassuring true friend gives us access to a very necessary and accurate sense of their own humiliations and follies, 片語搭配

然而，能帶來慰藉的真朋友讓我們能非常有必要地、真切地感受到他們自己的屈辱和愚蠢，

insights with which we can begin to judge ourselves and our sad and compulsive lives slightly more compassionately. 文法

借助這些洞見，我們可以開始稍微更寬容地看待自己，以及我們悲哀而身不由己的生活。

Thirdly,

第三，

fun.

尋找樂趣。

Despite talk of hedonism and immediate gratification, 表達脈絡

儘管大家都在談論享樂主義和即時滿足，

life gives us constant lessons in the need to be serious.

生活卻在不斷教導我們需要嚴肅。

We have to guard our dignity,

我們必須維護自己的尊嚴，

avoid looking like a fool,

避免看起來像個傻瓜，

and pass as a mature adult. 片語動詞

並且要裝作一個成熟的成年人。

The pressure can become onerous and in the end even dangerous.

這種壓力會變得繁重，最終甚至會變得危險。

That's why we constantly need access to people we can trust enough to be silly with them. 文法

這就是為什麼我們不斷需要接觸那些我們足夠信任、能在他們面前犯傻的人。

They might, most of the time,

在大部分時間裡，他們可能

be training to be a neurosurgeon or advising middle-sized companies about their tax liabilities,

在接受神經外科醫生的培訓，或者為中型企業提供稅務諮詢，

but when we're together,

但當我們在一起時，

we can be therapeutically daft. 用詞

我們可以表現出具有療癒效果的傻氣。

We can put on accents, 片語動詞

我們可以模仿口音，

share lewd fantasies,

分享下流的幻想，

or doodle on the newspaper,

或者在報紙上亂畫，

adding a huge nose and a missing front tooth to the president

給總統畫上個大鼻子並缺顆門牙，

or giving the fashion model distended ears and masses of curly hair.

或者給時裝模特兒畫上脹大的耳朵和一頭捲髮。

The fun friend solves the problem of shame around important but unprestigious sides of ourselves.

有趣的朋友解決了我們在自己重要但不那麼體面的方面所產生的羞恥感。

Fourthly,

第四，

clarifying our minds.

澄清思緒。

To a surprising degree, 表達脈絡

令人驚訝的是，

it's very hard to think on our own.

靠我們自己思考是非常困難的。

The mind is skittish and squeamish. 用詞

大腦是容易跳躍且脆弱的。

As a result,

結果是，

many issues lie confused within us.

許多問題在我們內心中糾纏不清。

We feel angry but are not sure why.

我們感到生氣，但不確定原因。

Something is wrong with our job but we can't pin it down. 片語動詞

我們的工作出了問題，但我們無法確切找出癥結所在。

The thinking friend holds us to the task. 片語搭配

善於思考的朋友能督促我們完成這項任務。

They ask gentle but probing questions which act as a mirror that assists us with the task of knowing ourselves. 講解

他們提出溫和但發人深省的問題，就像一面鏡子，協助我們完成認識自我這項任務。

One side effect of getting a bit more precise about what we're trying to do with our social lives 文法

更加明確我們試圖在社交生活中做什麼，帶來的一個副作用是

is that we're likely to conclude that in many cases,

我們很可能會得出結論，在許多情況下，

we're spending time with people for no truly identifiable good reason.

我們和人們共度時光並沒有什麼真正明確的好理由。

These proto-friends share none of our professional ambitions or interests. 用詞

這些所謂的「準朋友」既不分享我們的職業抱負，也不分享我們的興趣。

They aren't reassuring and may indeed be secretly really very excited by the possibility of our failure.

他們不能提供慰藉，甚至可能對我們失敗的可能性暗自竊喜。

We can't be cathartically silly around them

在他們身邊我們不能隨心所欲地釋放傻氣，

and they aren't in the least bit interested in furthering our or their path to self-knowledge. 片語搭配

並且他們對於促進我們或他們自己的自我認知之路也毫無興趣。

They are,

他們，

like so many of the people in our social lives,

就像我們社交生活中的許多人一樣，

simply in our orbit as a result of some unhappy accident that we've been too sentimental to correct. 講解

僅僅是因為某些我們太過感情用事而未能糾正的不幸偶然，才留在了我們的交友圈中。

We should dare to be a little ruthless in this area. 文法

在這方面，我們應該敢於稍微冷酷一些。

Culling acquaintances isn't a sign that we've lost belief in friendship. 講解

淘汰熟人並不意味著我們失去了對友誼的信仰。

It's evidence that we're starting to get clearer and therefore more demanding about what a friendship could really be.

而是證明我們開始變得更加清醒，因此對友誼的真正含義有了更高的要求。

In the best way,

往好的一面想，

the price of knowing what friendship is for may be a few more evenings at home in our own company. 慣用語

弄清友誼目的的代價，可能只是幾個在家獨處的夜晚。