父親情結：英語精讀講義

To say that someone has daddy issues 用詞

說某人有「缺乏父愛症候群」（daddy issues），

is a somewhat rude and humiliating way 片語搭配

是一種多少有些粗魯和貶低的方式，

of alluding to a very understandable longing for a father 片語搭配

它暗指的是一種非常容易理解的、對父親的渴望，

who is strong and wise,

渴望他堅強又睿智，

who is judicious, kind,

明智、善良，

perhaps at points tough,

也許有時嚴厲，

but always fair and ultimately always on our side. 慣用語

但總是通情達理，並且最終總是站在我們這一邊。

It would be so understandable if we were to feel we wanted someone like this in our lives, 文法

如果我們在生活中渴望有這樣一個人，這是完全可以理解的，

especially at moments of confusion and chaos.

尤其是在我們感到困惑和混亂的時刻。

The longing for a strong father has been a recurring theme throughout history. 片語搭配

對強大父親的渴望貫穿了整個人類歷史。

Most religions have conceived of their central deities as male parents. 片語搭配

大多數宗教都把它們的核心神明設定為男性長輩。

In ancient Greece,

在古希臘，

Zeus was described as the father of men and gods.

宙斯被稱為人類與眾神之父。

In Christianity,

在基督教中，

God was the heavenly father.

上帝被視為天父。

In Germanic mythology,

在日耳曼神話中，

Odin was the all-father, 文化背景

奧丁被稱為「眾生之父」，

the father of all other gods.

即所有其他神明的父親。

The longing has been no less present in secular culture. 文法

這種渴望在世俗文化中也同樣存在。

In the US,

在美國，

the individuals who led the War of Independence and drew up the Constitution 片語動詞

那些領導獨立戰爭並起草憲法的人

came to be known as the Founding Fathers. 講解

被稱為「開國元勳」（Founding Fathers）。

Garibaldi,

加里波底，

the dignified and authoritative man who fought for the unification of Italy in the 19th century,

這位在19世紀為義大利統一而戰的、威嚴而有權威的人，

earned himself the title of the father of the fatherland. 片語搭配

為自己贏得了「祖國之父」的稱號。

In early childhood,

在幼兒時期，

we are all immensely weak and in need of protection. 片語搭配

我們都極其弱小，需要保護。

We can't understand the world.

我們無法理解這個世界。

We're so fragile,

我們是如此脆弱，

we could be killed by a moderately sized dog.

一隻中等體型的狗就能要了我們的命。

So much feels mysterious and outside of our control. 慣用語

太多事物讓我們覺得神秘且不受控制。

A hunger for a daddy is, in the circumstances, 片語搭配

在這種情況下，對爸爸的渴望

wholly natural.

是完全自然的。

A grown man inevitably and rightly seems immensely impressive to a small child.

對一個小孩子來說，成年男性不可避免地、理所當然地顯得無比了不起。

They appear to know everything, 文法

他們似乎無所不知，

the capital of New Zealand,

知道紐西蘭的首都，

how to drive a car,

知道怎麼開車，

how to say a few words in a foreign language,

知道怎麼說幾句外語，

how to peel an avocado.

知道怎麼剝酪梨。

They go to bed mysteriously late,

他們神秘地很晚才睡覺，

they're up before you.

又比你起得早。

In the swimming pool,

在游泳池裡，

you can put your arms around their neck and rest on their back.

你可以摟住他們的脖子，趴在他們的背上。

They once kicked a football so high,

他們曾經把足球踢得那麼高，

you nearly couldn't see it.

你差點都看不見了。

It's beyond astonishing when one is four. 用詞

當你只有四歲時，這簡直太不可思議了。

The paradox of daddy issues is that those who have them 表達脈絡

「缺乏父愛症候群」的矛盾之處在於，有這些問題的人，

are almost always people who didn't have very good fathers when they were small.

幾乎都是在小時候沒有過好父親的人。

Perhaps one's father was strong,

也許某人的父親很強壯，

but ultimately cruel,

但終究很殘酷，

bullying, or disinterested.

喜歡霸凌，或者漠不關心。

Perhaps he was more concerned with another sibling or with his work. 片語搭配

也許他更關心其他兄弟姊妹，或者更關心他的工作。

Perhaps he wasn't around much, 用詞

也許他不常在身邊，

left the house after a divorce,

離婚後離開了家，

or died young.

或者英年早逝。

The adult longing for a father is not the result of having had a good father in childhood. 文法

成年後對父親的渴望，並不是因為童年時有一個好父親。

It's a consequence of abandonment. 片語搭配

它是被拋棄的後果。

The longing can incline us to some tricky patterns of behavior. 片語搭配

這種渴望會讓我們陷入一些棘手的行為模式。

However mature and skeptical we may be in most areas, 文法

無論我們在大多數領域多麼成熟和充滿懷疑精神，

in relation to the idea of male protection, 片語搭配

在面對男性保護這種觀念時，

we remain a little like the young child we once were

我們依然有點像曾經的那個小孩，

and haven't been allowed to mature away from.

還沒有被允許成長並擺脫這種狀態。

We secretly yearn for a man to step in and fulfill an unquenched fantasy role. 講解

我們暗地裡渴望一個男人能介入進來，滿足一種未被滿足的幻想角色。

They'll take charge, 片語搭配

他們會掌管一切，

they'll make the big decisions,

他們會做出重大決定，

they'll be tough and certain to make our problems go away.

他們會很堅強，肯定能讓我們的問題煙消雲散。

They'll make sure the money side of things is sorted, 講解

他們會確保金錢方面的問題得到解決，

they'll get angry and aggressive with anyone who hurts us,

他們會對任何傷害我們的人感到憤怒和具有攻擊性，

they'll be proud of us and love us as we are. 片語搭配

他們會為我們感到驕傲，愛真實的我們。

We'll be looking out for daddies in friendships, 片語動詞

我們會在友誼中尋找爸爸的身影，

at work,

在工作中也是，

and not least, 表達脈絡

尤其是，

in politics.

在政治中。

The danger is that these daddies may in the end

危險在於，這些「爸爸」最終可能

hugely damage our trust,

會極大地破壞我們的信任，

for it isn't in anyone's power to assuage the sort of longings

因為沒有任何人有能力平息那種

we bring to bear on 慣用語

我們寄託在他們身上的

them. They may know very well what we want

渴望。他們可能非常清楚我們想要什麼，

and naively or cynically promise to provide it for us,

並且天真或憤世嫉俗地承諾會提供給我們，

but gradually, too late,

但漸漸地，為時已晚，

we stand to realize that they had a thousand flaws, 文法

我們終會意識到，他們有無數的缺點，

as we all do.

就像我們所有人一樣。

We may realize that they're bullying rather than noble,

我們可能會意識到他們是在霸凌，而不是高尚，

that our enemies haven't gone away,

我們的敵人並沒有消失，

that they couldn't help us,

他們根本幫不了我們，

that there isn't, in fact, enough money in the world to do what they promised, 表達脈絡

事實上，世上沒有足夠的錢來兌現他們的承諾，

and that, in fact, they didn't really love us at all.

而且事實上，他們根本沒有真正愛過我們。

The fantasy daddy figure of adulthood isn't, in fact, a good father for one big reason.

成年人幻想中的「爸爸」形象，實際上並不是一個好父親，原因有一個：

Truly good humans know they aren't that powerful

真正優秀的人知道他們並沒有那麼強大，

and are happy to admit to the fact cleanly and honestly,

並且樂於乾淨俐落地、誠實地承認這一事實，

just as soon as we're ready to take the news,

只要我們準備好接受這個消息，

which is normally when we're around 12 years old

這通常是在我們大約12歲時，

and conscious of new powers and capacities.

並且意識到自己擁有了新的力量和能力。

A good father doesn't, beyond that age,

一個好父親在孩子過了那個年紀之後，就不會

pretend to be all-powerful.

假裝自己無所不能。

They confess they can't solve all our problems

他們承認無法解決我們所有的問題，

and can't magically save us from a myriad of dangers, 片語搭配

無法像變魔術一樣把我們從無數危險中拯救出來，

no matter how much they wish they could. 文法

無論他們多麼希望能做到。

The good daddy disappoints us just as soon as we're strong enough to bear reality. 講解

好爸爸一旦發現我們強大到足以承受現實，就會讓我們失望。

Out of love, 片語搭配

出於愛，

they deflate the idea that there could ever be a perfect,

他們打破了永遠會有一個完美、

ideal daddy.

理想爸爸的念頭。

They try,

他們努力，

as best they can, 片語搭配

竭盡所能，

to help us grow up.

幫助我們長大。

If we encounter someone who has daddy issues,

如果我們遇到有「缺乏父愛症候群」的人，

the temptation is to get frustrated, 文法

很容易感到沮喪，

to tell them to mature,

叫他們成熟點，

to mock them,

嘲笑他們，

and in particular,

尤其是，

to poke fun at the particular daddy figure they might have identified. 慣用語

取笑他們可能認定的某位具體的「爸爸」形象。

This isn't either a very wise or ultimately a very kind strategy. 文法

這既不是一種非常明智的策略，歸根結底也不是一種善意的策略。

It simply tends to entrench their devotion because whenever we're attacked, 文法

這往往只會加深他們的依賴，因為每當我們受到攻擊時，

we of course feel ever more intensely than ever the need for the protection of an idealized father.

我們當然會比以往任何時候都更加強烈地感受到，我們需要一個理想化父親的保護。

What we really need to help us out of our daddy issues 片語動詞

要幫助我們走出「缺乏父愛症候群」，我們真正需要的是

is something more like the actions of a genuinely good father,

更像是真正的好父親的作為，

someone who acknowledges our suffering and our fears,

承認我們的痛苦和恐懼，

who deeply wants what's best for us and isn't reluctant to say so, 片語搭配

真心希望我們能過得好，而且不吝於說出來，

but who at the same time, out of love, 表達脈絡

但同時，出於愛，

wants to help us to come to terms 慣用語

又想幫助我們去接受

with a messy and essentially disappointing world.

這樣一個混亂且本質上令人失望的世界。

A man who, out of love,

這樣一個男人，出於愛，

will encourage us to be independent

會鼓勵我們獨立，

and specifically not to fantasize that anyone,

特別是不要去幻想任何人，

however outwardly imposing, 文法

無論外表多麼威嚴，

can ever do the impossible.

能夠完成不可能的事。

Good daddies allow us to bear the truth that there are, in the end, 講解

好爸爸會讓我們承受這樣一個事實：歸根結底，

no daddies.

沒有真正的「爸爸」。

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我們很樂意為您帶來這些影片。

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如果您想幫助我們繼續為您提供發人深省的內容，

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請考慮訪問我們的商店來支持我們，

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點擊螢幕上的連結即可。