究竟是什麼讓人散發魅力？：英語精讀講義

Understandably enough, our societies pay vast attention to the idea of sexiness. 語氣意圖

可以理解，我們的社會對性感這一概念投入了極大的關注。

Far more questionably, they tempt us to believe that it might be easy to understand what this quality consists of. 講解

但更值得懷疑的是，社會讓我們誤以為，要弄清性感的本質輕而易舉。

The leading suggestion takes its starting point from the biological sciences. 片語搭配

最主流的觀點從生物學角度出發。

We learn that sex aims at successful reproduction and genetic fitness in the coming generation. 片語搭配

我們得知，性的目的是為了成功繁衍後代以及下一代的基因適應性。

Therefore, sexiness must logically comprise a host of semi-conscious signals of fertility and of resistance to disease. 片語搭配

因此，按理說性感一定包含了一系列關於生育能力和抗病能力的半潛意識訊號。

Bilateral facial symmetry, large bright pupils, full lips, youthful skin, and melanin-rich hair.

面部雙側對稱、又大又亮的瞳孔、豐滿的嘴唇、年輕的肌膚，還有富含黑色素的頭髮。

But, this analysis too quickly assumes that it might be simple to know what sex really aims at. 表達脈絡

但是，這種分析太草率地假設我們能輕易弄清性行為的真正目的。

Unlike most other living beings, our biological drives sit alongside and at points take second place to a range of emotional priorities. 慣用語

與大多數其他生物不同，我們的生物本能與各種情感需求並存，有時甚至退居其次。

Chief among these is the desire to overcome loneliness and share our vulnerability within the arms of a safe and intimate other. 文法

首當其衝的，便是渴望克服孤獨感，在安全而親密的人懷中袒露我們的脆弱。

We seek, through a physical act, to overcome our customary psychological alienation and a host of painful barriers to being known and accepted. 片語搭配

我們試圖透過身體上的行為，來克服習以為常的心理疏離，打破那些阻礙我們被了解和接納的痛苦屏障。

Viewed through such a lens, 表達脈絡

從這個角度來看，

the erotic is not so much a promise of reproductive health 文法

情慾與其說是繁育健康的承諾，

as a suggestion of a redemptive capacity for closeness,

不如說是暗示著一種救贖的能力，能帶來親密、

connection, understanding,

連結、理解，

and an end to shame and isolation.

以及終結羞恥與孤立。

It is this emotional mission that explains the conundrum sometimes generated by people whom one would expect, 文法

正是這種情感使命，解釋了有時讓人困惑的現象：有些按理來說，

by all standard biological criteria,

根據所有標準生物學標準，

to possess an exemplary sexual aura,

擁有完美性感光環的人，

but who manage to leave us cold. 慣用語

卻讓我們感到無動於衷。

Just as it may shed light on the associated puzzle of those physically more challenged candidates 慣用語

同樣，這也解開了另一個相關的謎團：為什麼那些外貌上更具挑戰的候選人，

who nevertheless lay claim to a rare power 片語搭配

卻能擁有一種罕見的魔力，

far outstripping the quality of their hair 用詞

這種力量遠遠超過了他們頭髮的髮質，

or the luster of their eyes.

或者眼睛的神采。

The people whom we call sexy,

那些我們稱之為性感的人，

despite or aside from the raw facts of their appearance,

不管他們的外表這些客觀事實如何，

are those whose features and manner suggest an unusual ability

他們的容貌和舉止都暗示著一種非凡的能力，

to fulfill the underlying emotional purpose of lovemaking. 片語搭配

能夠滿足做愛深層的情感目的。

The way they respond to a joke,

他們對一個笑話的反應方式、

the curve of an eyebrow,

眉毛的弧度、

the characteristic motion of their forehead,

額頭特有的動作、

the way of holding their hands,

牽手的方式，

convey in an unconsciously understood but hugely eloquent language 慣用語

都在用一種無意識卻極具表現力的語言傳達著：

that one is in the presence of a kindly being

你正身處一個善良的人面前，

who is liable to understand our broken and confused aspects, 文法

這個人很可能會理解我們破碎而迷惘的一面，

to help us over our loneliness and submerged sadness,

幫助我們克服孤獨和深藏的悲傷，

and reassure us of our basic legitimacy and worth.

並讓我們確信自己基本的正當性與價值。

Someone with whom we can at last reduce our normal suspicions,

與他們在一起，我們終於可以放下平時的戒備，

cast aside our armor, 慣用語

脫下盔甲，

and feel safe, playful, and accepted.

感到安全、快樂，並被完全接納。

Whatever the quality of their skin 文法

無論他們的膚質如何，

or balance of their proportions,

或者身材比例是否勻稱，

it is these aspects that have a true power to excite us.

真正能讓我們興奮的，正是這些特質。

In a melancholy and avoidant world,

在一個憂鬱又習慣逃避的世界裡，

this is the real turn-on. 用詞

這才是真正的興奮點。

We hear so much about what we might need to do

我們聽了太多關於應該做些什麼，

to increase our physical appeal,

來提升外在吸引力的建議，

but by getting more detailed about the psychological traits that drive desire, 文法

但如果能更詳細地了解驅動慾望的心理特質，

we could learn to pay as much, if not more attention, 文法

我們就能學會投入同等甚至更多的注意力，

to the foundations of an exciting mindset.

去培養一種令人心動的思維模式。

Armed with a broader understanding of the aims of sexuality, 慣用語

有了對性目標的更廣闊理解，

some of the following might also henceforth deserve

以下一些特質從今以後也同樣值得

to be counted as valuable sources of sexiness. 文法

被視為有價值的性感泉源。

A sense of being slightly at odds with mainstream society. 片語搭配

一種與主流社會略顯格格不入的感覺。

Whether at work, with friends, or around family,

無論是在工作中、朋友間還是家人身邊，

we're too often hemmed in by exhausting requirements to fit in 片語動詞

我們常常被那些為了融入群體而令人筋疲力盡的要求所束縛，

and subscribe to dominant notions of what it means to be good and acceptable, 片語搭配

不得不盲從那些關於什麼是「好」和「可接受」的主流觀念，

requirements which nevertheless leave behind or censor

然而，這些要求卻拋棄或壓抑了

a lot of our internal reality.

我們很多內在的真實。

There ends up being a lot we mustn't say 片語動詞

結果是，有很多話我們不能說，

and even more we shouldn't even really feel.

甚至有更多情緒我們連感受都不應該有。

What a relief then to note, 表達脈絡

那麼，當你注意到——

perhaps via a wry twitch in another's upper lip,

也許是透過對方上唇一絲苦笑的抽動——

that we are in the presence of someone who knows how to adopt 片語搭配

眼前這個人懂得如何採取一種

a gently skeptical perspective on prevailing assumptions,

溫和審視的態度看待那些普遍假設時，那是多麼令人欣慰，

someone with whom we'd be able to break away 片語動詞

有了這樣的人，我們就能掙脫束縛，

and express doubts about revered ideas or people

對那些備受尊崇的理念或人物表達質疑，

and cast a cathartically skeptical gaze on the normal rules of life. 片語搭配

並以一種釋然的懷疑目光，去審視生活的常規法則。

Good sex promises to feel like something of a conspiracy against everybody else. 慣用語

愉悅的性愛注定感覺就像是一場針對所有其他人的共謀。

An unshockable nature.

一種處變不驚的特質。

The more we're honest with and exploratory about ourselves, 文法

我們對自己越誠實，越敢於探索自我，

the more we realize that there is much inside our characters

就越會意識到，我們性格的深處

that might surprise or horrify outsiders,

藏著許多可能會讓外人驚訝或恐懼的東西，

that we possess alarming degrees of vulnerability,

我們擁有著令人擔憂的脆弱、

meanness,

刻薄、

strangeness,

古怪、

waywardness, and folly.

任性與荒唐。

Our standard response may be shame and embarrassment,

我們的標準反應可能是羞愧和尷尬，

and yet we quietly hunger to be properly witnessed 慣用語

然而，我們內心卻渴望被真正看見，

and accepted as we really are. 文法

並以最真實的面貌被接納。

What may prove supremely sexy, therefore, 用詞

因此，可能極具性感魅力的，

are suggestions that another person has explored

是暗示另一個人已經勇敢地探索了

their own deeper selves with courage,

他們自己內心深處的自我，

has a handle on their darkness, 慣用語

能把控自己的黑暗面，

and may, on this basis,

並可能在此基礎上，

be capable of extending

有能力以一種

an uncensorious perspective on our own.

不加評判的目光看待我們的陰暗。

A tension between good and bad.

好與壞之間的張力。

Someone who paid no attention whatsoever to decency 片語搭配

一個完全不顧體面、

and scoffed at all propriety might be merely alarming. 用詞

嘲笑一切規矩的人，可能只會讓人感到恐慌。

Yet, what can prove uniquely appealing

然而，真正具有獨特吸引力的，

is a person alive both to duty and temptation, 用詞

是那種既能感受到責任，又會被誘惑吸引的人，

to the pull of maturity

他們既能體會成熟的拉扯，

and the draw at least for a little while

又能至少在短暫的、

in the early hours of wickedness.

夜深人靜時被放縱所誘惑。

A divided person

這是一個矛盾的人，

simultaneously responsible

既有責任感，

and marked by a touch of desperation. 片語搭配

又帶有一絲不顧一切的狂放。

Vigor and impatience.

活力與不羈。

In addition, might come a potential for aggression and anger 文法

此外，他們可能還潛藏著攻擊性和憤怒感，

that they managed to keep very sanely under control in daily life, 片語搭配

在日常生活中他們能非常理智地將這些控制住，

but that they knew how to release at points in private.

但卻知道如何在私密時刻適當釋放。

Someone whose capacity for a little cruelty

一個偶爾能展現出了一點點殘忍的人，

was all the more moving because it stood out 講解

之所以更加動人，是因為這與他們

against a customary habit of extreme consideration and gentleness.

平時極端體貼和溫柔的習慣形成了鮮明對比。

Kindness.

善良。

A lot of our reality deserves compassion and sympathy.

我們現實生活中的很多方面都需要同情和憐憫。

How compelling, therefore,

因此，那該是多麼令人不可抗拒——

to come across someone whose features 片語動詞

遇到一個眉宇間

would belie a willingness to extend charity 講解

流露出願意施予善意的人，

towards a lot that is less than perfect in human nature.

包容人性中那些不完美的地方。

Someone who could know how much we stand in need of forgiveness 用詞

這個人能夠知道我們多麼需要寬恕，

and who could laugh generously with and at us 語氣意圖

能夠慷慨地與我們一起歡笑，甚至自嘲，

because they knew how to do the same in relation to themselves.

因為他們知道如何以同樣的態度對待自己。

We've allowed our concern for sexiness 文法

我們任由對性感的關注

to be coarsened by physical obsession

被對肉體的癡迷所粗俗化，

because we are under the sway 慣用語

因為我們受制於

of an overly simplistic biological sense

對性可能追求的目標

of what sex might be aiming at.

一種過於簡化的生物學觀念。

Yet, by recovering contact 文法

然而，透過重新建立聯繫，

with some of what we emotionally crave from another person,

去觸碰我們在情感上對另一個人的渴望，

we can, happily, but not merely conveniently, 表達脈絡

我們可以欣喜地，而不僅僅是順理成章地，

rediscover that the real turn-on

重新發現真正讓人興奮的，

is never just a well-polished body, 表達脈絡

從來都不只是一具完美的軀體，

but always and primordially a well-fashioned soul.

而始終、最根本的是一個有趣的靈魂。

Great dates are made up of great conversations.

絕佳的約會源於絕佳的對話。

Our dating cards are designed to spark insightful and playful encounters.

我們的約會卡牌旨在激發深刻而有趣的邂逅。

Click the link on screen now to find out more.

立即點擊螢幕上的連結了解更多。