你的情感有多健康？：英語精讀講義

One way of assessing how emotionally damaged we might be 文法

評估我們情感可能受損程度的一種方法

is to identify a range of markers of emotional health

是確定一系列情感健康的指標，

and imagine how we fare in relation to them. 用詞

並想像我們在這些指標上的表現如何。

At least four central themes suggest themselves. 片語搭配

至少有四個核心主題。

Firstly, self-love.

首先，自愛。

Self-love is the quality that determines how much we can be friends with ourselves

自愛決定了我們能在多大程度上與自己做朋友，

and day to day remain on our own side. 慣用語

並在日常生活中保持站在自己這一邊。

When we meet a stranger who has things we don't, 文法

當我們遇到一個擁有我們沒有的東西的陌生人時，

how quickly do we feel ourselves pitiful

我們會多快感到自己可憐，

and how long can we remain assured

又能維持多久的自信心，

by the decency of what we have and are?

基於我們所擁有的和我們本人的體面？

When another person frustrates or humiliates us,

當別人挫敗或羞辱我們時，

can we let the insult go, 片語動詞

我們能對侮辱釋懷嗎，

able to perceive the senseless malice beneath the attack,

能夠看穿攻擊背後無謂的惡意嗎，

or are we left to brooding and devastated,

還是我們會陷入沉思和崩潰，

implicitly identifying with the verdict of our enemies?

潛意識裡認同敵人的裁決？

How much can the disapproval or neglect of public opinion

公眾輿論的不滿或忽視，

be offset by the memory of the steady attention 用詞

能在多大程度上被記憶中那些穩定的關注所抵消，

of a few significant people in the past?

即過去幾個重要人物對我們的關注？

In relationships,

在人際關係中，

do we have enough self-love to leave an abusive union,

我們是否有足夠的自愛去離開一段充滿虐待的關係，

or are we so down on ourselves 慣用語

還是我們對自己如此缺乏信心，

that we carry an implicit belief

以至於我們潛意識裡認為

that harm is all we deserve?

受到傷害是我們應得的？

In a different vein, 表達脈絡

另一方面，

how good are we at apologizing to a lover

我們有多擅長向愛人道歉

for things that may be our fault?

為那些可能是我們過錯的事情？

How rigidly self-righteous do we need to be?

我們需要多麼頑固地自以為是？

Can we dare to admit mistakes, 文法

我們敢於承認錯誤嗎，

or does an admission of guilt or error

還是承認罪惡或錯誤

bring us too close to our background sense of nullity?

會讓我們太接近內心深處的虛無感？

In the bedroom,

在臥室裡，

how clean and natural or, alternatively,

我們的慾望感覺是多麼乾淨和自然，或者相反，

disgusting and sinful do our desires feel?

讓人感到噁心和罪惡？

Might they be a little odd,

它們可能會有點奇怪嗎，

but not for that matter bad or dark, 表達脈絡

但並不因此就意味著糟糕或陰暗，

since they emanate from within us

因為它們源自我們內心，

and we are not wretches?

而我們並不是卑劣的人？

At work,

在工作中，

do we have a reasonable,

我們是否有理智的、

well-grounded sense of our worth,

有充分根據的自我價值感，

and so feel able to ask for

從而覺得能夠要求

and properly expect to get the rewards we're due? 用詞

並理所當然地期待獲得我們應得的回報？

Can we resist the need to please others indiscriminately?

我們能抵制無條件取悅他人的需求嗎？

Are we sufficiently aware of our genuine contribution

我們是否充分意識到自己的真正貢獻，

to say, sometimes, no?

從有時能說「不」？

Candor. 用詞

坦率。

Candor determines the extent to which difficult ideas 文法

坦率決定了困難的想法

and troubling facts can be consciously admitted into the mind,

和令人不安的事實能在多大程度上被有意識地接納入心，

soberly explored,

被清醒地探索，

and accepted without denial.

並被不帶抗拒地接受。

How much can we admit to ourselves about who we are,

我們能在多大程度上向自己承認我們是誰，

even if, 表達脈絡

即使，

or especially when,

或者尤其是當，

the matter is not especially pleasant?

事情並不那麼令人愉快的時候？

How much do we need to insist on our own normality

我們有多需要堅持自己是正常的

and wholehearted sanity?

且完全理智的？

Can we explore our own minds

我們能探索自己的內心

and look into their darker and more troubled corners 片語動詞

並深入觀察其更黑暗、更動蕩的角落，

without flinching overly?

而不會過度退縮嗎？

Can we admit to folly,

我們能承認愚蠢、

envy,

嫉妒、

sadness and confusion?

悲傷和困惑嗎？

Around others,

在別人身邊，

how ready are we to learn?

我們有多願意學習？

Do we need always take a criticism of one part of us 文法

我們是否總需要把對我們某一部分的批評

as an attack on everything about us?

當作是對我們全部的攻擊？

How ready are we to listen

我們有多準備好去傾聽，

when valuable lessons come in painful guises? 慣用語

當寶貴的教訓以痛苦的形式出現時？

Communication.

溝通。

Can we patiently and reasonably put our disappointments 片語搭配

我們能耐心地、理智地把我們的失望

into words

轉化為語言，

that more or less enable others to see our point? 慣用語

或多或少地讓別人明白我們的觀點嗎？

Or do we internalize pain,

還是我們將痛苦內化，

act it out symbolically, 片語動詞

以象徵性的方式表現出來，

or discharge it with counterproductive rage?

或者用適得其反的憤怒發洩出來？

When other people upset us,

當別人惹惱我們時，

do we feel we have the right to communicate,

我們覺得有權利溝通嗎，

or must we slam doors and retreat into sulks?

還是必須摔門並退縮生悶氣？

When the desired response isn't forthcoming, 用詞

當渴望的回應沒有出現時，

do we ask others to guess

我們會要求別人去猜

what we've been too angrily panicked to spell out? 片語動詞

我們因為過於憤怒和恐慌而沒能說出的話嗎？

Or can we have a plausible second go 片語搭配

或者我們能進行第二次合理的嘗試，

and take seriously the thought 片語搭配

並認真考慮這種想法，

that others are not merely being nasty

即別人不僅僅是在故意刁難

in misunderstanding us?

才會誤解我們？

Do we have the inner resources

我們是否有內在的資源

to teach rather than insist? 語氣意圖

去教導而不是一味堅持？

Trust.

信任。

How risky is the world?

這個世界有多危險？

How readily might we survive a challenge

我們能多從容地度過挑戰，

in the form of a speech of a romantic rejection,

比如一番浪漫拒絕的言辭，

about a financial trouble,

財務上的麻煩，

a journey to another country,

去往另一個國家的旅行，

or a common cold?

或者一場普通感冒？

How close are we at any time

我們在任何時候距離

to catastrophe?

災難有多近？

What material are we made of? 慣用語

我們是由什麼材料構成的？

Will new acquaintances

新認識的人

like or wound us?

會喜歡我們還是傷害我們？

If we're a touch assertive, 用詞

如果我們稍微有些強勢，

will they take it or collapse?

他們會接受還是崩潰？

Will unfamiliar situations

陌生的處境

end in a debacle?

會以慘敗告終嗎？

Around love,

在愛情方面，

how tightly do we need to cling?

我們需要抓得多緊？

If they're distant for a while,

如果他們疏遠了一陣子，

will they return?

他們會回來嗎？

How controlling do we need to be?

我們需要多強的控制慾？

Can we approach an interesting-looking stranger

我們能走向一個看起來有趣的陌生人

or move on from an unsatisfying person? 片語動詞

或者離開一個讓人不滿意的人嗎？

Do we overall feel the world to be wide, 文法

我們總體上是否覺得世界足夠廣闊、

safe,

安全，

and reasonable enough

且合理，

for us to have a legitimate shot 慣用語

讓我們有機會

at a measure of contentment?

獲得一定程度的滿足？

Or must we settle resentfully 片語動詞

還是我們必須憤憤不平地妥協於

for inauthenticity and misunderstanding?

不真實和被誤解？

It isn't our fault,

這不是我們的錯，

or in a sense anyone else's,

在某種意義上也不是任何人的錯，

that many of these questions

許多這些問題

are so hard to answer in a positive direction.

都很難給出積極的回答。

But by entertaining them, 表達脈絡

但通過思考它們，

we are at least starting to know

我們至少開始了解

what kind of shape our psychological wounds have, 慣用語

我們的心理創傷是什麼形狀，

and so what kind of bandages

以及什麼樣的繃帶

might be most necessary.

可能是最必要的。

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