我們是如何對自己說謊的：英語精讀講義

A major obstacle to self-knowledge and in turn to a flourishing life 片語搭配

阻礙自我認知、進而阻礙我們過上繁榮生活的一大障礙，

is the tendency of one part of our minds to lie to the other. 文法

是我們大腦的一部分傾向於對另一部分說謊。

We lie for what might initially seem like a very understandable reason, 文法

我們說謊的最初原因似乎很好理解，

because we want to avoid pain.

因為我們想要避免痛苦。

But in so doing, 片語搭配

但這樣做，

we hugely damage our chances of happiness. 片語搭配

我們卻極大地破壞了自己獲得幸福的機會。

There are four things we particularly like to lie to ourselves about.

我們特別喜歡在四個方面對自己說謊。

We lie about all the problematic aspects

我們會對所有那些棘手的問題說謊，

it would take so much effort to alter 文法

那些需要付出巨大努力才能改變的事情——

our jobs,

我們的工作，

our relationships,

我們的感情，

our friendships,

我們的友誼，

our health,

我們的健康，

our habits and ideas.

還有我們的習慣與觀念。

We lie because we need to think well of ourselves 片語搭配

我們說謊是因為我們需要覺得自己還不錯，

and are devoted to imagining that we are essentially normal, 片語搭配

並且致力於想像自己本質上是個正常人，

without peculiar loves, hates and deviant thoughts.

沒有任何古怪的愛恨或偏離常軌的想法。

We lie because we don't want to feel so inadequate

我們說謊是因為不想感到自己如此無能，

and yet because we lack so many good things.

然而事實上我們又缺乏那麼多美好的東西。

We lie because we're furious with certain people we're supposed to love, 文法

我們說謊是因為我們對那些本該去愛的人感到憤怒，

and we lie because what we're furious about feels so minor

我們說謊也是因為讓我們憤怒的事物感覺如此微不足道，

and pathetically petty for a grown-up to care about.

對於一個成年人來說，在乎這些顯得可悲又小氣。

Given how risky the truth about us can feel, 文法

鑑於直面自己的真相讓人感覺充滿風險，

we've had to learn to be masters of deception. 慣用語

我們不得不學會成為欺騙的偽裝大師。

Our techniques are wide-ranging,

我們的手段十分廣泛，

devilish, and often hugely imaginative.

邪惡且常常充滿極大的想像力。

Here are some of the leading maneuvers

以下是一些常用的策略，

we employ to pull the wool over our own eyes. 慣用語

我們用它們來蒙蔽自己的雙眼。

We identify something that can powerfully keep our thoughts away from troubling inner confrontations.

我們會找一些能強而有力地把我們的思緒從煩人的內心衝突中拉開的事物。

Online pornography is a favorite, 表達脈絡

網路色情是首選，

the news another,

新聞是其二，

alcohol a third,

酒精是其三，

work a fourth.

工作是其四。

We don't so much like these elements in and of themselves. 片語搭配

我們並不是真的那麼喜歡這些東西本身。

We like them for their ability

我們喜歡它們，是因為它們有能力

to keep us away from what we fear.

讓我們遠離自己所恐懼的事物。

A sadness we haven't been able to admit to

我們無法承認的悲傷，

is often covered up with exaggerated doses of manic cheeriness. 片語動詞

往往被誇張的、近乎狂躁的快樂所掩蓋。

We aren't happy so much as incapable of allowing ourselves to feel 文法

我們與其說是快樂，不如說是無法允許自己去感受

even the slightest sadness in case we were to be overwhelmed by our buried grief. 文法

哪怕是最輕微的悲傷，生怕我們會被深埋的悲痛所吞噬。

We develop a brittle,

我們養成了一種脆弱而又

insistent tendency to say that all is very well.

固執的傾向，總愛說一切都很好。

This is lovely, isn't it? 語氣意圖

「這很棒，不是嗎？」

We might press,

我們可能會強行這麼說，

leaving no room for any ideas to the contrary. 片語搭配

不給任何相反的意見留有餘地。

Denied anger with a particular personal situation

在特定的人際環境中被壓抑的憤怒，

often seeps out into a generalized irritability. 慣用語

往往會演變成一種普遍的易怒情緒。

So successful is the lie, 文法

這個謊言是如此成功，

we don't really know what's up.

以至於我們真的不知道怎麼了。

We just keep losing our temper. 片語搭配

我們只是不停地發脾氣。

Someone's moved the TV remote,

有人挪動了電視遙控器，

there aren't any eggs in the fridge,

冰箱裡沒雞蛋了，

the electricity bill is slightly higher than we expected.

電費比我們預期的稍微高了一點。

Anything can set us off. 片語動詞

任何事都能讓我們暴跳如雷。

Our brains are so filled with how frustrating and annoying things are,

我們的腦子裡塞滿了事情有多令人沮喪和惱火，

we've cleverly left no space at all

我們巧妙地沒有留出任何空間

for focusing on the true and very sad issue.

去關注那個真正且非常悲傷的問題。

We tell ourselves that we simply don't care about something,

我們告訴自己，我們就是不在乎某件事，

love or politics,

無論是愛情還是政治，

career success or intellectual life,

職業上的成功還是精神生活，

that beautiful student or the house we can't afford.

那個漂亮的學生還是我們買不起的房子。

And we are very emphatic about our lack of interest and complete disdain. 用詞

我們非常強調自己缺乏興趣和完全不屑一顧。

We go to great lengths to make it very clear 慣用語

我們竭盡全力地表明

to others and ourselves how absolutely unconcerned we are.

讓別人和我們自己知道我們是多麼地漠不關心。

We grow censorious and deeply disapproving of certain kinds of behavior and people.

我們變得愛吹毛求疵，強烈反對某些行為和人。

What we don't admit is that we're so full of condemnation

我們不願承認的是，我們之所以如此充滿譴責，

only because we need to ward off awareness 片語動詞

僅僅是因為我們需要防備自己意識到，

that a part of us, in fact,

事實上，我們的一部分

really likes the condemned element.

真的很喜歡那些被譴責的東西。

We attack certain sexual tastes as utterly deviant and beyond the pale, 慣用語

我們攻擊某些性偏好，說它們完全越軌、不可接受，

precisely because we have known

正是因為我們早已知道

that we share them somewhere inside ourselves.

我們內心的某個角落也同樣有這樣的渴望。

So we're delighted when particular people are arrested or shamed in the press.

所以，當某些人在媒體上被捕或被羞辱時，我們會很高興。

What they did was utterly awful,

他們做的事簡直糟糕透頂，

we insist

我們堅持認為，

our outrage shielding us from any risks spotting the connection between them and us.

我們的憤怒像是一面盾牌，保護我們免於發現他們和我們之間的聯繫。

When there's unwelcomed news,

當出現不受歡迎的消息時，

we may resort to a highly successful diversionary tactic, 片語搭配

我們可能會採取一種非常成功的轉移注意力的策略：

taking offense. 片語搭配

表現得被冒犯了。

A colleague tries to give us a bit of feedback. 片語搭配

一位同事試圖給我們一點回饋。

Instantly,

瞬間，

we accuse them of rudeness, 片語搭配

我們就指責他們粗魯、

arrogance, and a sense of entitlement.

傲慢，以及自以為是。

A partner points something out, 片語動詞

伴侶指出了某件事，

we get furious that they're piling pressure on us at a difficult point. 片語搭配

我們就會暴怒，認為他們在我們困難的時候施加壓力。

Feeling offended takes up all our attention. 片語動詞

感到被冒犯佔據了我們所有的注意力。

It muddies the waters. 慣用語

它把水攪渾了。

We no longer have to pay attention to information

我們不再需要去關注那些

that is at heart correct, 慣用語

本質上是正確的，

but challenging.

但令人難堪的資訊。

We're sad about particular things,

我們對某些特定的事情感到悲傷，

but confronting them would be so arduous,

但面對它們太過於艱難，

we generalize and universalize the sadness.

於是我們將悲傷普遍化、泛化。

We don't say that X or Y has made us sad,

我們不說X或Y讓我們感到悲傷，

we say that everything is rather terrible

我們會說一切都很糟糕，

and everyone is rather awful.

每個人都很討厭。

We spread the pain

我們把痛苦分散開來，

in order that its particular specific causes can no longer be the focus of attention. 文法

以至於它具體而特定的原因不再成為關注的焦點。

Our sadness gets,

我們的悲傷，

to put it metaphorically, 表達脈絡

打個比方來說，

lost in the crowd. 慣用語

迷失在了人群中。

Why is lying to ourselves a problem? 表達脈絡

為什麼對自己說謊是個問題？

We need to tell ourselves the truth when we can

我們需要在可能的時候告訴自己真相，

for the simple reason 片語搭配

原因很簡單，

that we often pay a very high price 慣用語

我們經常要付出非常高昂的代價

for the short-term calm of our lies.

來換取謊言帶來的短暫平靜。

We miss key opportunities for growth and learning.

我們錯失了成長和學習的關鍵機會。

We're not very nice to be around. 用詞

我們變得不那麼平易近人。

We develop harmful systems.

我們養成了有害的行事系統。

And not least, 表達脈絡

而且最重要的是，

the truth will out. 慣用語

真相終將大白。

When we don't let it emerge,

當我們不讓它浮現時，

it has a tendency to reveal itself through involuntary,

它往往會透過一些不受控制的、

often physical symptoms.

往往是身體上的症狀顯現出來。

We become insomniac or impotent,

我們開始失眠或無能，

an eyelid starts twitching,

眼皮開始跳動，

we acquire a stutter,

我們變得口吃，

we scream in our sleep,

我們在睡夢中尖叫，

we lose energy,

我們失去活力，

we fall into depression.

我們陷入憂鬱。

We owe it to ourselves to dare to start 片語搭配

我們有責任讓自己敢於開始

to confront our real nature.

面對我們真實的本性。