我們不騎斑馬的真正原因：英語精讀講義

Sheep weren't always this fluffy.

羊並不總是這麼毛茸茸的。

We fluffy-fied them by breeding the fluffiest in each generation. 用詞

我們透過讓每一代最毛茸茸的羊繁衍，把它們「毛茸茸化」了。

This is domestication,

這就是馴化，

sculpting wild animals for better human use. 慣用語

塑造野生動物，讓牠們更好地為人類所用。

As we saw in part one,

正如我們在第一部分看到的，

for early man,

對於早期人類來說，

animals were powerful tools,

動物是強大的工具，

food, clothing, transportation, tractors.

既是食物、衣服、交通工具，又是拖拉機。

Yet, though there were animals everywhere,

然而，儘管到處都是動物，

only a handful were domesticated in the pre-modern world.

在前現代世界中，只有少數動物被馴化。

What made these different?

是什麼讓牠們與眾不同？

Let's make a domestication checklist, 語氣意圖

讓我們列一個馴化清單，

shall we?

好嗎？

First up, feedable.

首先，好餵養。

A cow is a machine that turns grass into steak, 表達脈絡

牛是一台把草變成牛排的機器，

and a tiger a machine that turns steak into tiger.

而老虎是一台把牛排變成老虎的機器。

10 lb of grass make a pound of steak

10磅草能產出一磅牛排，

and 10 lb of steak make a pound of tiger.

而10磅牛排能長出一磅老虎。

But these have the same number of calories,

但由於牠們所含的熱量是一樣的，

so you might as well just eat the cow and save yourself a lot of work. 片語搭配

所以你還不如直接吃牛，省去一堆麻煩。

So pure carnivores,

所以純肉食動物，

you're not going to domesticate just because of thermodynamics.

僅從熱力學角度來看，你就不可能去馴化牠們。

You're looking for herbivores that aren't picky. 用詞

你要找的是不挑食的草食動物。

They should eat something that's everywhere that you can't eat.

牠們應該吃那些隨處可見但你又不能吃的東西。

Any omnivores better be happy eating whatever and better be super worth it. 文法

任何雜食動物最好是什麼都樂意吃，而且最好超級有價值。

We are, however, putting the pig before the pen here 慣用語

不過，我們在這裡有點本末倒置了，

because first we need to catch something that's friendly.

因為首先我們需要抓到一些友好的動物。

Okay, obviously catching a carnivore is a bad idea anyway

好吧，顯然抓肉食動物無論如何都是個壞主意，

because their day job is murder, 慣用語

因為牠們的日常工作就是謀殺，

but plenty of omnivores like grizzlies moonlight in murder.

但很多像灰熊這樣的雜食動物也會兼職謀殺。

No safety in vegetarians either.

素食動物也並不安全。

Buffalo are terrifying tanks for all the reasons mentioned before.

水牛是可怕的坦克，原因之前已經提過了。

Hippos hold the murder high score in Africa.

河馬在非洲保持著謀殺最高紀錄。

Giraffes look real dorky until you consider their striking range.

長頸鹿看起來傻乎乎的，直到你見識到牠們的攻擊範圍。

Lions mostly leave them alone.

獅子通常對牠們敬而遠之。

Animals it would be awesome to domesticate are not coincidentally super dangerous.

那些馴化起來會很棒的動物，通常也非常危險，這絕非巧合。

War bears would be a hell of an advantage for your tribe,

戰熊對你的部落來說絕對是個巨大的優勢，

but it's not going to happen.

但這不可能發生。

And if it's big and not dangerous,

還有，如果牠體型龐大又不危險，

it's a nervous wreck. 慣用語

牠很可能是個神經質。

Try sneaking up on a gazelle.

試著偷偷靠近一隻瞪羚看看。

Rhymes with LOL.

英文裡牠還和「LOL（大笑）」押韻呢。

Sure, you and a team of buddies could spend the whole day marathon jogging it down to exhaustion,

誠然，你和一群夥計可以花一整天馬拉松式地把牠追到筋疲力盡，

but if it doesn't break its own neck as you try to drag it back home,

但如果你想把牠拖回家時，牠沒摔斷自己的脖子，

then it's going to casually leap out of whatever pen you built for it.

那牠也會隨隨便便從你為牠建的任何圍欄裡跳出去。

Okay, next up.

好了，下一個。

Some animals have reproductive preferences that make them incompatible with captivity.

有些動物有繁殖偏好，使牠們不適合圈養。

Looking at you, pandas. 語氣意圖

說的就是你們，大貓熊。

The time and energy humans have spent to get pandas to get on with it is comical. 講解

人類為了讓大貓熊繁衍後代所花費的時間和精力簡直滑稽。

Hunter-gatherers need an animal so eager to breed it gets it wrong sometimes. 文法

狩獵採集者需要的是一種非常渴望交配，甚至有時會弄錯對象的動物。

Not an animal whose mating seasons they have to keep careful track of. 片語搭配

而不是一種需要他們仔細記錄交配季節的動物。

So friendly, feedable, and fecund.

所以，要友好、好餵養，並且繁殖力強。

It also needs to grow up fast.

牠還需要長得快。

This gets us to the heart of domestication versus taming. 表達脈絡

這就觸及了馴化與馴服的本質區別。

Again, to domesticate a species is to change it to make it better for us. 文法

再說一次，馴化一個物種是為了讓我們能更好地利用牠而改變牠。

And side note here,

順便提一下，

we domesticate plants as well.

我們也馴化植物。

We've bred them to be monstrous versions of their wild selves.

我們把它們培育成了它們野生狀態下的「怪物」版本。

So when hippies talk about going back to nature,

所以當嬉皮士談論回歸自然時，

they forget that these plants are just as man-made as this Pop-Tart. 文法

他們忘了這些植物和這個果醬餡餅一樣，都是人造的。

Anyway, back to the animals.

無論如何，回到動物身上。

The pig porkification project succeeded because pig generations are shorter than human generations.

豬的「豬肉化」專案成功了，因為豬的世代比人類的世代短。

A single clever human can make porky progress in their lifetime.

一個聰明的古人在他的一生中就能在養豬上取得進展。

Compare and contrast elephants.

把大象拿來對比一下。

2 years to make a calf,

懷胎要2年，

5 years in between calves,

兩胎之間隔5年，

9 years until female maturity,

雌性成熟要9年，

15 years for males.

雄性要15年。

You've got to be kidding, elephants. 語氣意圖

你在開玩笑吧，大象。

There's no time for this.

我們沒這個時間。

But humans can still tame elephants.

但人類仍然可以馴服大象。

You can catch an elephant and train it not to freak out around humans, 片語動詞

你可以抓住一頭大象，訓練牠在人類面前不驚慌，

then put it to work.

然後讓牠幹活。

But elephant domestication would require accurate records over several human lives.

但大象的馴化需要跨越幾代人的準確記錄。

Never mind that keeping one or two tamed elephants around is incredibly costly, 表達脈絡

更不用說養一兩頭馴服的大象成本高得驚人，

which is why war elephants only happened on occasion in already complex societies.

這就是為什麼戰象只偶爾出現在已經很複雜的社會中。

Tame elephants are a luxury.

馴服的大象是一種奢侈品。

Hence this rule of thumb. 慣用語

因此有這樣一個經驗法則。

If it's on a farm,

如果牠在農場裡，

it's domesticated. 用詞

牠就是被馴化的。

If it's in a circus,

如果牠在馬戲團裡，

it's tame.

牠就是被馴服的。

Finally, families.

最後，家庭觀念。

Okay, zebra versus horses.

好了，斑馬對比馬。

Horses are civilization game-changers. 用詞

馬是改變文明的遊戲規則改變者。

It's remarkable to think that from thousands BC until the telegraph,

令人難以置信的是，從公元前幾千年直到電報發明，

a dude on a horse was the best internet available. 慣用語

騎在馬上的小伙子就是最好的「網際網路」。

Horses were domesticated in Eurasia,

馬在歐亞大陸被馴化，

but humans started in Africa,

但人類起源於非洲，

which has zebra.

那裡有斑馬。

Why didn't the first humans ride out of Africa on the backs of zebra to conquer the world?

為什麼最早的人類沒有騎著斑馬走出非洲去征服世界？

Because zebra are bastards.

因為斑馬就是混蛋。

They live to kick and bite,

牠們活著就是為了踢和咬，

dangerous in a pre-penicillin world. 文化背景

在青黴素發明前的世界裡，這是極其危險的。

And zebra also have a ducking reflex,

而且斑馬還有低頭躲閃的反射動作，

making them very frustrating to lasso.

導致用套索套牠們非常令人抓狂。

In addition to being a real pain in the ass animal, 慣用語

除了是一種讓人非常頭疼的動物之外，

zebra lack a family structure.

斑馬還缺乏家庭結構。

Horse herds hierarchy.

馬群有等級制度。

You can see it when they travel in a line.

當牠們排成一隊行進時你就能看出來。

The male, top female,

雄性首領、頂級雌性、

her foals, second female,

她的幼崽、第二雌性、

her foals, and so on.

她的幼崽，以此類推。

Humans, by capturing and taming the lead male, 文法

人類透過捕捉並馴服首領雄馬，

become head horse.

成為「頭馬」。

Lots of barnyard animals are barnyard animals

許多農場動物之所以能成為農場動物，

because they have family values humans exploit. 慣用語

是因為牠們擁有可供人類利用的家庭價值觀。

They just grow up with the idea that this human is a funny sort of take-charge cow or whatever. 片語搭配

牠們只是伴隨著這樣一種觀念長大的：這個人類是一頭有趣的、喜歡發號施令的「牛」或什麼的。

No big deal.

沒什麼大不了的。

Chickens will peck, peck, peck

雞會啄、啄、啄，

until they've worked out who's top chicken. 片語動詞

直到牠們搞清楚誰是「頭雞」。

But you know who's really top chicken?

但你知道誰才是真正的「頭雞」嗎？

We're top chicken.

我們才是「頭雞」。

Dogs and cats,

狗和貓，

this is what makes them different.

這正是牠們的不同之處。

Dogs will love you and defend you and hunt with you

狗會愛你、保護你、和你一起打獵，

because you're part of the pack.

因為你是群體的一部分。

Dogs live to be useful to us,

狗活著就是為了對我們有用，

which in the modern world means falling over to play dead, 片語搭配

在現代世界，這意味著倒下裝死，

but they love it.

但牠們樂在其中。

Bang.

砰。

Good girl,

乖女孩，

good girl.

乖女孩。

Whereas a cat is a tiny tiger that lives in your house. 慣用語

而貓是一隻住在你家裡的微型老虎。

Okay, back to these guys.

好了，回到這些傢伙身上。

For zebra, there's no such thing as society.

對於斑馬來說，沒有社會這回事。

They hang out in groups because it's a good survival strategy,

牠們成群結隊是因為這是一個好的生存策略，

but they don't really care.

但牠們其實並不在乎彼此。

Catch a zebra and his family won't follow.

抓住一隻斑馬，牠的家人不會跟著來。

Try to ride him and you'll be lucky to keep your fingers. 語氣意圖

試圖騎牠，你能保住手指就算幸運了。

Zebra look like horses on the outside, 慣用語

斑馬外表看起來像馬，

but not on the inside.

但內心根本不像。

So that's the checklist.

這就是馴化清單。

Friendly, feedable, fecund, family-friendly. 表達脈絡

友好、好餵養、繁殖力強、適合家庭。

It's not a long checklist,

這不是一個很長的清單，

but for hunter-gatherers,

但對於狩獵採集者來說，

any animal they wanted to domesticate needed everything,

他們想馴化的任何動物都需要具備所有這些條件，

which is why in early human history

這就是為什麼在早期人類歷史中，

only a baker's dozen of big animals were domesticated the world over. 慣用語

全世界只有十三種大型動物被馴化。